Not sure if anyone remembers me, but I'm back!

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Splashdancer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 928
   Posted 2/22/2012 4:54 AM (GMT -6)   
about a zillion things have happened since the last time I was here, but I won't bore everyone with any of it in case you don't remember me! :-)   I just got my laptop working again, after over a year of it sitting under the couch. It's almost 5 a.m. here in FL and I'm finally tired enough to sleep, but I wanted to jump on here real quick to ask for some prayers, positive thoughts, anything. My fiance (been together over 12 years) was diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer on Valentine's day. I'm in shock, denial, numb, scared, terrified, confused, etc, etc. and I just need some kind people around me that understands those feelings. If anyone is interested, I will post more tomorrow. I will dig around the site more tomorrow to see how everyone is doing - I hope all of you who hurt are feeling better or at least are finding some peace or solace. I have thought of you guys often and wondered how you were doing.
 
Have a peaceful day.
Splash

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 2/22/2012 9:01 AM (GMT -6)   
I remember you Dancer. It's nice to see you posting again.

Welcome back!
Failed TLIF L5-S1, Miltiple Bulges/Herniations, Scoliosis, Pituatary Disorder, Fibro, Failed Bladder Surgery, Failed Nissen, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CFS, TMJ, Migraines, HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia w/Diabetic reaction to HGH, Bi-lateral CTS (now trigger finger), Edema, Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome, Peripheral Neuropathy, Plantar Fascitis, Tibular Tendonitis, Adult Onset Flat Feet, & Vision Issues

ahuffman
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 2/22/2012 9:27 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry to hear about your fiancee. I cannot imaging how hard that must be, especially finding out on a day that is supposed to be a happy occasion. I will pray for both of you.

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 2/22/2012 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Truly sorry about your fiancee. If you have not done so I would seek some other opinions about it being inoperable. Maybe go to a teaching hospital, the Mayo clinic, or a specialized cancer center. Breakthroughs in treatment happen all the time and it can take some time for them to become mainstream where the "local" oncologists know about them and became comfortable with them.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16410
   Posted 2/22/2012 2:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Splash and welcome back to the forum. I am so happy that you decided to give us another whirl, lol. As you can see we have a lot of new faces here. However, many of the older members are gone but some of them still lurk the forum, meaning they do not sign in, not unless something catches their eye and they decide to comment.

I am so sorry to read about your fiancee. I lost my mom to terminal lung cancer and I do understand the emotions being all over the place, as well as every possible emotion coming to surface. But that is ok and normal, but try to just take things one day at a time. I brought my mom to live with me after she was dx'd and we had the best 11 months together that you could imagine, I would not take a million dollars for that time with her. Not knowing any of the details here, I do agree about the possibly of consulting with one of the reputable cancer treatment facilities, those people have access to stuff that the average oncologist does not. I will be saying a prayer for both of you.

Look forward to you bring us up to speed about you. Take care...Susie
Moderator-Chronic Pain Forum

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3696
   Posted 2/22/2012 2:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Splash It is really nice to have you back here, but I sure wish it was under better circumstances! I am really sorry about your fiancee, I know that the both of you will have a long hard and difficult road ahead of you and I will definitely keep both of you in my prayers. You know Splash that we are all here to listen and support you, I am sure you will need all the support you can get during this difficult time. We are here for you!
 
Peace be with you splash
 
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Lindaloo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 2/23/2012 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
WB Splashdancer,
 
I do remember your name and I wanted to welcome you back.  I, too, was gone for about a year.  I was fighting a very debilitating endometrial aggressive cancer, myself.  You have to take each day as it comes and enjoy your life as best you can, even in spite of the diseases.
 
I will pray for your fiance and for you as I know very well what my husband and I went through and are still going through.  Life holds no promises, that's why I say enjoy each day as best you can.  Believe and go forward with faith is my best advice I can share with you.
 
Keep coming back, as you have many friends here and many you haven't even met yet, I am sure. We want to know how things are going with you and your fiance, believe me!
 
God bless you,
 
Lindaloo
Moderator in Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums.

Believe in yourself. Be kind to fellow humans and animals. Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.

And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help. I will be there.


Linda

Blessedx8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 2/23/2012 7:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Splashdancer....

Welcome...back, lol. I do remember you. One of the things that I remember is that you've had several c-sections, right? I remember that because I just had my 7th (and LAST) with the birth of the girls. Anyway, I'm glad you are joining us again.

I don't have the right words to express my feelings re: your fiance.... that is just heartbreaking news... but I like many of the things that Lindaloo said. Life doesn't hold any guarantees for any of us. You do the best you can to get through each day. From what I know of you, I know that you will do that and be there to support your fiance. I bet you ARE going through a myriad of emotions right now - and rightfully so. Please know we are here to help support you through this time.

I will pray for you, Splash - and your fiance. And I hope you'll keep posting and let others encourage/help you.

Love, Tina
Moderator - Chronic Pain Forum

My faith and family sustain me even on my worst days... as well as my wonderful friends here at HW.

Health/Pain Issues - too many to list; feel free to ask

Splashdancer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 928
   Posted 2/23/2012 8:45 PM (GMT -6)   
From the bottom of my heart, thank you everyone for your kind words. I really don't know where to begin, or how much you really want to know - cause it's alot! The 'story' of what my family has been through over the past couple of years is one that if hadn't happened to me, I'm not quite sure I'd believe it! In fact, my entire life's story is kinda hard to believe, but I've lived it so I know it's true! If any of what I write this evening appears as 'babble', please excuse me - sleep is something I only have a vague memory of, and clear thought is a concept I'm just not capable of at the moment. So please bear with me. But I will try to make this as short as possible! In the past 3 years, Robert had a construction accident (fell through faulty scaffolding), was rear-ended while driving my mother's car (on Thanksgiving eve of 2010 - 2 hours before that, we were sitting on the curb outside of our home, with our kids, our 6 cats, and all of our belongings, having lost our home of 5 years), was hospitalized 6 times with pancreatitis, and then was diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer on Valentine's Day this year. The surgeons are saying they won't operate because the tumor is so deep within the liver that if they tried to remove it, he would most likely bleed to death on the table. At this point, they are saying that his only hope for survival is a liver transplant. We are going to the T.G.H. Liver Clinic next week to begin the testing process to see if he is a candidate for transplant. Their main concern is how close the tumor is to the portal vein. If there has been ANY infiltration of the tumor into the portal vein, the risk of the cancer spreading would be too high and they won't/can't risk 'wasting' a liver and he would not be a candidate. All of his other organs are healthy, there only appears to be one malignant tumor, and he hasn't drank or used any illicit drugs in over 7 years, so it would really stink if this one 'thing' prevented him from receiving a liver. Ok, besides all of that, on my birthday last year, my car was stolen and was found 2 weeks later - but only after a police chase and a crash that totaled my car! The piece of garbage (the only word that I can get away with using on here!) that was caught with my car was 19 years old (ironically, he and I share the same birthday-March 21st!) and was wanted for violating probation on aggravated battery against a child, domestic violence, and battery. He ended up getting a 6 year prison sentence. And finally, the 4 of us and 5 of our cats have been living with my mom since Thanksgiving 2010 - it's a 2 b/r condo and we are all losing our minds - some quicker than others! Oh, and I just lost my doctor of 9 years! He was my primary and also treated my CP. I have been trying for 3 weeks to find a new doctor, but here in good ol' FL, as soon as you say "chronic pain patient", the doctor treats you as if you had the plague or ebola!

I am sooooo sorry everyone - I've written WAY too much for one post - just haven't had anyone to tell all of this too, so you all became the unlucky recipients of my major vent. Please everyone, tell me how all of you are doing. For some reason, I've been thinking of Dani - how/where is she??

If you made it this far, thank you for 'listening' and please - have a peaceful day.

Splash

p.s. And I forgot to add that when we lost our home, we had to put EVERYTHING we owned in a storage unit. Several months later, the unit was auctioned because we had no way to pay for the unit. Robert couldn't work because of his injuries and I couldn't find work, even though I desperately tried (47 applications/resumes). I know some people may say they were just material things, but it was 48 years of my life in that storage room. All of my children's things - and for those of you who know my whole story, all of the things I had left of my 2 sons who were abducted in 1991. So it was SO much more than 'material stuff'. I can't even see the commercials for those stupid reality shows, Storage Wars and whatever that other one is - I actually start feeling physically sick when I see the previews.

Post Edited (Splashdancer) : 2/24/2012 9:55:47 PM (GMT-7)


NiNi53
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 816
   Posted 2/23/2012 8:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, I was not on the forum at the same time as you, so although I dont remember you or know you, you have all my prayers and well wishes, everyone seemed to give you great advice and there is always hope, without hope, we dont have much.  So dont let go, keep up your spirits as well as you can, and continue to be the best partner anyone could ask for.
 
My prayers and blessing will be with you always,
 
Kathy
degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, neuropathy, lumbar laminectomy july 1998 no help, rechargeable neurostimulator unit low right back w/lead wires to left side and right leg unit not working just sitting there.i am 57 years young in may will turn 58. i have 2 grown daughters, 25 and 29. i have 2 grandchildren, 9 year old grandaughter and 5 yr. old grandson

Blessedx8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 2/24/2012 2:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Splash,

I understand what you mean when you say your life story is almost "unbelievable" - I feel the same way about my life. I tell very few people about my life - because it sounds like a made-for-TV movie. So, I "get it".

But, on a serious note, thank you for sharing all that's been going on with you. I wish I had words that would help make things better... BUT, I am so sorry for ALL that you've had to endure. You may not feel like it at times - but you are a very strong woman to get through all of that - and still be able to share your story. I will continue to hold you and your fiance and family in my prayers.

Always know you can come here and vent!

Quick note re: Dani.... she did leave the board awhile ago and I don't know how she is doing.

Other than that, I'm glad you've found your way "home" to the board.... and know that we care. I'm so sorry that you lost your long-term doctor. I know it's so tough finding a new doctor.... especially a CP doc.... Let us know how that search goes. I know there are some others here who live in Florida....

I hope you get some sleep tonight.... and look forward to reading more of your posts. Take good care. --Tina
Moderator - Chronic Pain Forum

My faith and family sustain me even on my worst days... as well as my wonderful friends here at HW.

Health/Pain Issues - too many to list; feel free to ask

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16410
   Posted 2/24/2012 7:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Splash, so glad you shared and brought us up to speed with all the goings on in your life. Wow, all I can do is reiterate what Tina said, you are one strong woman. Other than saying I will pray that things turn around for you and your family, I don't want to write a bunch of stuff that may sound like empty words.

As for Dani, she left the forum without any notice and we have honored her privacy by saying nothing further here at the forum.

Splash, I am sure you all feel like sardines packed in a can at your mom's but its a roof over your head. Can you and your family qualify for any kinds of public assistance, I sure hope so.

I can believe you are having difficulty finding a new dr, just keep at it, you will find one. Please take care and keep us posted. Take care. Susie
Moderator-Chronic Pain Forum
Moderator-Psoriasis Forum

Snowbunny21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 3557
   Posted 2/24/2012 8:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Splash...

I'm so glad that you have come on to fill us in on everything but I am so sorry to hear of all the trials and tribulations that have been happening in your life..

I will certainly pray for your fiance and hopefully getting on the liver transplant list near the top!..

I agree that you are such a strong woman in all that you have gone through in your life. I'm so glad that you got to bring 5 of your cats with you to your mom's as I remember that was such a big worry back then...And it's a blessing that you have been able to live with your mom...It's certainly not ideal but to have family close by and a roof over your head is at least some comfort for now...

I had to move in with my mom as I couldn't afford my apartment anymore as well as she is starting to need more help with her daily tasks..

Again...we are glad that you've come back to share all your news...I will be praying for you and your fiance...

Sending hugs (( ))
SB and "the pup who snores loudly" 
 
ACDF C5-C7, (no hardware), with autograft bone Nov. 2001
(reabsorption of bone 2 years later...still lost in body..expect to burp it out at anytime..haha")) 
ACDF with hardware, allograft bone Nov. 2005 
Anterior and Posterior CDF, allograft bone with BMP, removal of old hardware, use of titanium plates, rods, screws, & kitchen sink (lol) Oct 2006
 
 

Splashdancer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 928
   Posted 2/27/2012 10:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone! I just wanted to thank all of you individually for your kindness, prayers, and support. Snowbunny, thank you for your prayers and 'hugs'! And yes, I am very grateful that my mom brought us into her home - it's just that, on so many levels, it has been very difficult for everyone - it's complicated. Susie, thank you for your prayers also. I also wanted to answer your question about being eligible for government assistance/housing. We are receiving food assistance and medicaid (oh geez, what a nightmare THAT is - the medicaid I mean!). But unfortunately, government assistance with housing is something we don't qualify for, because of some past 'issues' that will apparently forever haunt me. I am so sorry about your mother, but so happy that you got to have that precious time with her! Tina, yep that's me (5 c-sections)! I prayed for a healthy pregnancy/delivery for you and your girls and I am SO very happy that all is well! It made me feel better to know that you understand what I mean about my life story being almost 'unbelievable' - you are so right about it being like a 'made-for-tv-movie! I appreciate that you (and others) feel that I am a strong woman, but I just feel so incredibly weak and useless right now. A bit of good news, however - I think I have found a new primary/CP doctor!! I have an appt. @ 10:30 tomorrow morning - I'll let you know how it goes - wish me luck! Kathy, you are right about hope - it is what I have to hang on to and I am hanging for dear life! Thank you for your prayers. Linda, I had no idea about the cancer you were fighting - how are you now! Remission? It sounds to me like you are winning your fight and you will be in my prayers. You are right about life holding no promises - faith, along with hope are the things I try to focus on. If you don't mind, could you tell me a bit about the cancer you have/had? Whitebeard, thank you so much for your kind words - you are a wonderful man. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. I hope you are feeling well. Jim, thank you for your comments and I am taking your advice. I have the internet and a spiral notebook that I will be writing in every day with all of the information I can find - wherever it may be! Ahuffman, thank you for your prayers. And RetiredMom, thank you for welcoming me back.

Blessedx8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 3/1/2012 3:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Splash,

I just read your latest post here.... First, thank you for praying for my pregnancy and the birth of the girls. I really know that our situation turned out as it did because we had so many wonderful people pulling for us - so thank you.

I know what it's like to have people saying you are so strong, yet feeling so weak. But, as I just said to someone else on here, I think our strength is more than shown through our ability to get up and face life - especially w/ all of these health/pain/other issues, right?

How did your appointment go w/ the new doctor?

Again, praying for you and your family, Splash. Keep us updated and know that we care.

--Tina
Moderator - Chronic Pain Forum

My faith and family sustain me even on my worst days... as well as my wonderful friends here at HW.

Health/Pain Issues - too many to list; feel free to ask
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