Hi and welcome.
I'm sorry you are in such a panic state right now. I understand how that feels because I used to be there too. I used to be sooooo scared of every medication that I was afraid taking them was going to cause me to pass away. It was part of a condition I needed help for and counseling for. This may be the best board for you, but you may also find great help on the anxiety or depression areas of healingwell. I may have listed that wrong, but you can look at the top drop down box that says chronic pain right now and then go to any board you wish. You may find that the medication issues are related to the overall issues you are facing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not condemning in any way. I understand. I still have a very difficult time forcing myself to try new meds because I have had so many very real reactions (not panic reactions)...I now know the difference.. I had to get help for that issues before I could begin to face the other issues going on in my life and it is possible. I still see someone now, but it is not the same at all. Now, he helps me with chronic pain issues and just gives me understanding and patience when I need it. There was a time, a long time ago, however, that he was my only link to dealing with what was going on in my own body.
I wish you luck on your journey.
Failed TLIF L5-S1, Miltiple Bulges/Herniations, Scoliosis, Pituatary Disorder, Fibro, Failed Bladder Surgery, Failed Nissen, GERD, OCPD, GAD, MDD, CFS, TMJ, Migraines, HBP, Idiopatic Reactive Hypoglycemia w/Diabetic reaction to HGH, Bi-lateral CTS (now trigger finger), Edema, Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome, Peripheral Neuropathy, Plantar Fascitis, Tibular Tendonitis, Adult Onset Flat Feet, & Vision Issues