Oooh, I've got a few of these...
I had a bad flare with my gastroparesis last year, and after a discussion with my GI doctor decided that we'd put the much-hated NJ tube back in to get me through the rough patch.
Had the dietician come to assess me - she was a bit of a ditz anyway and I didn't like her. Quite funny in itself because she was so annoying I wanted to smack her and told my GI that - and he couldn't get it out of his head every time he spoke to her (LOL). She says she'll be back the next day, after the tube's been put in.
NJ isn't like an NG tube - it's generally done with a scope, so I was taken to theatre, knocked out... and woke up with no tube and my very embarrassed doctor by my side apologising because the nobody had actually checked first that there was a scope the right size available before I'd been put out.
So - dietician comes back later in the day to get feeding started, looks at me and says "I assume the tube has gone in okay?". I said "Oh yes, they're using invisible ones these days - do you like it?". How can you miss whether or not someone has a tube sticking out their nose? *sigh*
My GP sent me to the ER a few years ago because my potassium had fallen dangerously low after a gastroparesis flare. Doctor examining me tried to tell me that my gastroparesis was caused by "all those bits of metal (my SCS and pump) floating around in my abdomen and compressing my stomach". Didn't want to listen to me telling her that they're actually under the skin.
Not dumb, but funny
Dermatologist looking at my leg ulcer recently, and trying to tell me I'd been scratching it: "If I was a forensic pathologist, I'd be telling you that those are scratch marks." Me: "Are you a forensic pathologist?" Cue deadly silence...
And a stupid thing done, rather than said... will never forget the ER doctor sending my Dad off to buy a bottle of Coke to try to 'unblock' me one night (was never going work - the end of it had kinked - and I'd told him that I'd already spent 6 hours at home trying to unblock it myself). Doctor pumping NJ tube full of Coke at high pressure = Coke explosion all over doctor. Serve him right for not listening!!
Moderator - Chronic Pain Forum
Full body CRPS with spasms, dystonia & contractures, gastroparesis, orthostatic hypotension,bradycardia/tachycardia, bursitis, CTS, osteoporosis, multiple compression fx, disc bulges.
Oxycodone ER/IR, Topamax, Mobic, Somac, Cipramil, Midodrine, Vit D & C, SCS, baclofen/bupivacaine pump