Hiya Milly and welcome.
You sound a lot like me, and believe me, I feel your pain. You might want to try adding some OTC ibuprofen, and ask your doctor about a muscle relaxer. Flexeril does wonders for both my Fibro and the pain from my lumbar region. Gabapentin or Lyrica is another thing you can ask your doc about. I'm on gabapentin and it helps so much with my neck and upper back pain from Fibro.
When your flares are bad try lying on your side and putting an ice pack on your back just above your tailbone. 15 min on 15 min off. If that doesn't help, try heat instead. The ice helps me a lot but some get more relief from heat.
By finding this forum you've found many really nice people who are great listeners when you need to vent and who understand your pain. Yes chronic pain takes over your life and of course you need to vent about it. It's horrible and there is NOTHING that doesn't involve using your back. Even breathing hurts me at times. You are not alone anymore :)
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C6-C7