Hi & long rant

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smoothielover
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/16/2012 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi,

At the moment I'm hurting and I guess I just want to vent. I feel like I can't stand this anymore! It's frustrating. Of course I can stand it--what choice do I have? lol

4 yrs ago I had a colon resection due to Stage 0 cancer which is gone. Amusingly some other cancer survivors told me I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Well I am not claiming my cancer was comparable to theirs--I'm not into competitions anyway--but omg ever since I've been having really bad pain. I had no gut pain before the surgery. I've had a few scopes since then and the dr says the surgical site is causing the pain. I have a pretty high threshold for pain but the severe/chronic nature of this is just really getting to me. I kept thinking if I just get this right or that right or wait more it will resolve. Now I'm giving up that idea.

What have I tried, you ask? ;)

I've had to totally change my diet because everything causes constipation. Even if I stick to the foods that work for me, when I eat too much in one sitting, I'm in pain again. And many times I've done all I'm "supposed to" do and still there's pain.

The pain ranges from moderate to my vision blackening. I think once I fainted from it (not recently). I say "I think" because I am really great at meditation--I do it automatically when the pain hits, I just shut down kinda--so I wasn't sure if I fell asleep or not.

Exercising helps, allegedly, but I can't tell the difference. I can't take pain medication due to other health problems (except Tylenol which is worthless). I'm under the care of several doctors and have talked about this.

What else have I tried...let's see...drinking warm beverages, warm compresses, cold compresses, swearing. lol Perhaps talking about it w/others who understand will help me; I don't expect you to have answers I guess, but perhaps camaraderie and coping tips will help.

I'm truthfully so frustrated after years of this, I practically cried at work recently. I am NOT the crying type either. I was just so sick of it. I am about ready to see the dr again and ask for the low-dose of antidepressants they give to people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Even though I don't have that...supposedly it dulls pain in the gut. And other side effects galore. rolleyes Not sure if I can even take that medicine due to other medical problems...and truthfully I don't want the stigma of taking an antidepressant. That's an ugly thing for me to say but there it is...it's true...there's a stigma.

I'm even planning to move to a smaller home just so I don't have as much housework to do. I just can't keep up like I used to.

A question for you all...when I'm in this pain funk, I experience something I'm not sure I can fully explain. I feel the sharp pains and cramps at first, and after a while, I know in my brain I'm still in pain but I have the notion my brain is blocking part of it. Not sure if that makes sense? I am still disabled by it, don't want to move around much or eat, etc., and I'm feeling it on some level...thoughts?

Sorry, this post is so rambling...

cogito
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 926
   Posted 6/16/2012 4:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi smoothielover,

Welcome to the chronic pain board.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and hope that this board offers you some camaraderie. It is a good vehicle for venting and there are a lot of supportive people here. If you don't get many replies today, it is because the weekends are somewhat slower.

I don't know what to say about your blocking the pain. Perhaps you notice the onset of pain because of the change in state, but as it continues, you notice it less.

Regarding the stigma of anti-depressants (opioids are probably even more stigmatized), you don't have to let people know. It is your own private business and only disclose it on a need-to-know basis (closest family, doctors). I recently switched to oxycontin from 5 yrs on Ultram ER, a more mild pain medication and when I mentioned it to a friend (not a close friend, but someone I've been working with on common research projects), he fell quite quiet and was definitely uncomfortable.

As for the being-sick-of-pain, I sure understand that point. With chronic pain there is also chronic suffering, and it must be addressed. Maybe others here can also help with that.
C4-T4 Scoliosis (disk degeneration, stenosis, narrowed neuroforamen, bone spurs), RT hip and SI joint damage from car accident. Also, pectus excavatum, supraventricular tacycardia and mitral valve prolapse syndrome.
Current meds:20mg Oxycontin daily, Oxycodone 5-10mg for BT. .25-.5mg xanax as needed for sleep, Verapamil 240mg SR (for tachycardia).

smoothielover
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/17/2012 4:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the replies!

Those smoothies are made from coconut milk and soy milk. :)

I have no problem with my stomach, just the colon. But dairy is a problem because it constipates. I severely limit dairy or pay the consequences. Even so, I'm left with lots of problems.

I've vomited from pain a few times....
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