Milly, I honestly believe that when anyone has had some type of either an accident, illness or health issues hit and it has changed their lives, the key that seems to work the best for most is to learn to accept it and make peace with it. Now, this is something that takes a lot of time and in some cases professional help can really help. What you are going through is the same that many of us here have already been through. Its like this happens in stages, I have even heard some say its like peeling an onion, taking a layer of skin off one at a time. It can be a bitter pill to swallow but once a person can accept things, they are able to move on and start rebuilding again.
You have to let go of some things from your old life, maybe have to learn to do a lot of things a different way but it is doable. We also go through a grieving process, whether its grieving for not being able to do your job and work anymore, this was a big one for me. I had a very difficult time accepting this, loss of friends, being able to do everything I did before. But, at some point we have to say ok, now lets look at what I can do and start working on that. I ended seeing a psychologist for quite a while and she helped me so much in understanding everything that was happening to me. I am not sure I would have made it without her. I have multiple health issues, and chronic pain is not what caused my disability. I think the first two years are the hardest to get through.
I also walk with a cane, its that or not walk. I do not let this slow me down, actually I have canes in every vehicle we own plus those in the house. I got caught out without one and got stuck. I buy the colored canes ad get lots of compliments about them. I figure if I have to use one it will be a pretty one.
All I will tell anyone is to take it a day at a time. Learn how to occupy yourself so that you can distract yourself from thinking about the pain all the time too. Whether its reading a book, listening to your favorite music, working puzzles, what ever helps to get your mind in a different direction helps. I still have my down times AI just do not let myself stay there long.
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