I wasn't sure if I should post this under "Anxiety" or "CP" as both
This morning I went in for a mammogram (dear God they take SOOOO many images,...by the time they were done with me, I felt for sure that my breasts will become close neighbors with my navel). They saw a mass in the right breast, near my armpit, so they did an ultrasound.
Then,... the doctor scheduled me for an urgent core biopsy and resection (?) where they take four slices of tissue to be sent to the lab, and they insert a titanium marker. Tomorrow, I get this procedure done.
On the slip they gave me as I was leaving, there are a number of different places/comments that can be checked about the findings/results of the mammogram. The boxes ticked for my results completely bypassed all the ones mentioning the "benign" or "unsuspicious" masses, as well as bypassing the statement of finding something inconclusive but that it could wait for either (a) 6-8 weeks, or (b) 6 months, to be repeated. My checked boxes stated they found a "suspicious mass of concern and in need of immediate core biopsy."
I'm kind of okay, I think (?), as I asked the doctor if she could perform it now, while I was there. (I was trying to ride the wave of "shock" and get this over with). But she said, "no, not now," but then she scheduled me right in for tomorrow. I'm sure I'm in good hands there, as it's the leading Breast Health Wellness Center in the region. A whole large facility dedicated to everything breast-related.
The part of me that feels concern is the certainty of the particular words used. Plus recently, the skin where the biopsy is to be taken has been itchy, and I know that's not a good sign.
There is no history of breast cancer in my family on either side. My odds, at least in that regard, are in my favour but that doesn't rule out the fact that, I admit, I'm feeling a stirring sense of being "wigged out". Maybe it's just the unknown? The vocabulary? The urgency with which they booked me? Maybe even part of it is in what they couldn't or didn't relay (and I know they cannot do so, as the results are not in). They told me they'll have the results from the biopsy in 4 days.
Following the procedure, I am only allowed to take Tylenol. The incision (which will be a little over 1/4" wide) will then be taped shut, pressure applied for 10 minutes to stop bleeding, and I must then for the next two days, I must apply ice to my breast for 20 minutes every hour that I am awake! Brrrr!
No "strenuous activities" for the next 7 days....(so I called my physical therapist, explained the situation, and asked if I could still come, provided I don't use my upper body...he's very thorough so he's calling the doctor directly to inquire about what he can or cannot do with me, or even IF I can do ANY physical therapy at all. I'm hoping to God I can still go to PT...I don't want to be sitting at home, alone, hurting and over-thinking the unknown). And for the 10-14 days after the procedure, I must limit my physical activities, no hot showers, hot tubs, Jacuzzi's, swimming, vacuuming, laundry, lifting, reaching, stretching, exercise, yoga,....I have to restrict what I do with my right arm. (Just getting dressed should be quite the experience).
I have to go buy a snug "compression sports bra" which (get this): I must wear immediately after the procedure, and not remove for 48 hours! The ice pack they give me (for all those 20 minute icing sessions) slips inside the sports bra and compresses the site. Forty-eight hours of icing my tender flesh inside a tight bra...oh, and no sleeping on my belly, or on my right side (which is how I sleep) or raising my arm above my head (which is also how I sleep).
The size of the mass being biopsied is roughly 1.3cm!
It's a good thing I went today, as this is extremely informative. It will help me move forward. (I'm practicing my positive self-talk). I told my Husband about it when I got home, and he said, "Whatever it is, we will take care of it together." (Isn't he the BEST ever!?)
I don't know if I'm still a little numb in the head from all the information-overload....and having it done tomorrow doesn't give me enough time to ruminate about all the possible possibilities, (which is my nature).
But I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm nervous. I've had a few biopsies done elsewhere before, but never here, never for this. And never was it expressed as "urgent." So.... Yeah. Fair to say,....I am nervous.
PS: I'm sorry for the long post. Thank you guys for letting me have a safe place to freak out.