(Don't think I've seen you on here before...maybe? bad memory. If not...Welcome!).
--To start off...the following is just my advice/feelings. I don't want to come across as condescending. I do wish you the very best!
I deeply understand your frustration, IH8Pain(very fitting name!
). We all would love to be pain free, and while I don't want to say you will NEVER be pain free...it's better to set smaller goals. How long have you been dealing with this pain?
Also, even if you don't reach the ultimate goal of "pain free," doesn't mean you can't eventually go back to college/work. It's a personal situation and I HATE when doctors give personal advice...I suppose they feel comfortable with their patients when they do...but I wish more doctors would keep things professional.
After years, and some of us decades, of being in pain...we begin to start to accept the fact that maybe, perhaps, we will never see a pain free day...but that doesn't mean we have accepted defeat...just that we now know what we face, are accepting of it, and will begin to cope with it and set small goals for ourselves.
One day, hopefully, many of us WILL have a pain free day...but you have to pace yourself.
Especially when it comes to medications like opiods. Taking the medication in order to be "pain free" is playing with fire. Not just because of risk of OD...but because tolerance will come a hell of a lot faster if you take the medication daily to be pain free.
I hope I didn't come across as condescending, I've only been dealing with my pain for, almost, a decade...and just beginning to accept the realization that I probably won't be pain free.
looking for new docs...you can, but don't accept any Rxs until you officially leave your current PM doc. You can visit/meet with/discuss your situations with other docs, but be careful...don't want to blacklisted...maybe another member can give better advice.