It's like you and I are twins almost Coti.... :). The things you just wrote about
not wanting to complain to family and friends, I completely understand. It made me tear up a little ;) It's kind of lonely isn't it?? I am so tired of talking about
it..... Even my husband didn't really realize how bad it was, until he came to see the surgeon. Its good that you have some people in your life that have been through this. My aunt had these same issues and I tend to
open up to her the most. I tend to keep it to myself at home (partially because I don't want to worry the kids and feeling the need to keep acting like this isn't happening lol) and I think that can also be bad for us. In a couple ways. Like overdoing it and keeping our frustrations bottled up. I completely agree about
feeling like you are explaining here and not complaining!!! Lol
I can't believe at 35 I am having a hard time writing my name.....and am about
to have a major neck surgery....it's pretty disheartening. I think about
the future now, in regards to my quality of life in 20 years. Hopefully by then, these types of procedures will be super advanced.
I normally live a pretty organic lifestyle. I've never liked taking medication and rarely drink. I like to be in control of myself and able to function. I have resisted most prescript
ions, but recently realized I needed to do something too. I couldn't sleep and when I do, it's very disrupted. Not to mention my little guy still gets up sometimes at night, so I have just been exhausted. I feel like a zombie and I wasn't even taking anything!!
I also started to wonder if I am becoming depressed. I've never had any depression or mental illness.... Well other than newborn hormones.... Lol. Some days I just don't even get out of my pajamas. And I have no energy to do things. When I do muster up the energy, everything takes longer and is painful, or I pay for it later.
Most of what you described sounds like it's nerve related. If you haven't already, look up the terms radiculopathy and also myelopathy. In particular cervical myelopathy......
Nerves are complicated and react differently in every person. I have nerves firing in all my extremities as well as my torso. I also think I'm slightly spastic because my upper body is becoming more and more toned, even though I'm not working out. The Dr said that is typical because if your nerves constantly fire and make your muscles spasm and twitch, that means they are always working.
I'm actually looking really fit and toned (which makes it hard for people to realize that I have a serious injury lol) and am concerned that after the decompression if the nerves stop firing, I'll turn into a big blob.....Lol. Isnt that a crazy thought???? I wish I could turn off the uncertainty..... You know?
Try to keep your head up. I'll try if you do.... Ok??
Post Edited (lila w) : 9/27/2014 3:04:38 PM (GMT-6)