Thanks to all of you for your thoughts.
Vickie...I absolutely relate to (especially) the last 2 sentences of your heartfelt post. I, like you, enjoy the SHARING of everything I have. I don't intend to sound "selfish" in requiring my siblings contribute towards cost. I think they more than received their "money's worth", as each of their extended families is large. All any of them did was show up and eat, for 3 days. My husband and I worked for 3 weeks shopping and preparing food. They just don't care, about me or our family. That's why they've pulled away, and don't "want" Thanksgiving at our house. I'm the IDIOT here...for begging and pleading w/siblings to come together. The work absolutely puts me to bed, and often into the hospital afterwards. Yet, I still crave that coming together of family. I always did it because I knew they would not show up otherwise.
I don't see any of mine creating new traditions. They are too tight with their wallets, lazy and self-absorbed. The entire family always TOOK whatever they could get from my (evil) mom and me (feeling evil and used). Both she and I would collapse onto the couches while "they" all "went for a long walk" after filling their bellies. Yet, again...I still crave that thought of family...damaged as it was.
My husband and I spent Thanksgiving alone this time. I didn't reach out to beg, barter and deal w/siblings. I cooked ALL of the traditional foods of roasted whole turkey, cornbread dressing, creamy giblet gravy w/boiled eggs and shredded "neck bone meat" from the turkey, cranberry chutney to die for, sweet peas...but skipped several of the casseroles because it was just the 2 of us. My husband "found" some home-brewed/aged apple pie moonshine that could be dangerous=) We spent the day in our PJs, with a roaring fire in the fireplace...eating, sleeping, laughing and crying...crying some more.
Later I took a generous plate down to my mom, complete w/roasted turkey tail. She always wanted the "part that went over the fence last". She was her usual delightfully demonic self. She was pouting, refusing to come to the dining room of the center. It worked out, though, as her absence in the common area allowed my husband and I to deliver goodies and visit w/my senior peeps. I love them SO MUCH. My mom targets fellow residents that I have affection for (with verbal and threatened physical abuse). Unfortunately, I have to be aware of this when she's out and about. Let's just say I make MANY covert trips at night to deliver special cake requests to my peeps. I bake w/Splenda, so they LOVE the yummies. I love sharing with them. They, unlike my mom, are such a BLESSING to me.
This world is SUCH A MESS, starting with ME and my family...I've exhausted myself and sacrificed the health I have left to try to keep it together. I learned this Thanksgiving that my husband and I can have our own special day with 2 spotted dogs. It came and went, as will Christmas. I have to celebrate what we have, rather than meditate upon what I think we've lost. I ponder whether I could actually lose what I never had...a loving family beneath the pain of childhood...separate from our abusive parents. Hm-m-m
Oh, and I'm sorry as the bitterness of this whine compliments nothing. FB-- Yea...Sometimes I can see why folks just drink their way through the holidays. We DON'T because I've seen how that ends...never well. However, a little APPLE PIE SHINE in your 'nog can't hurt!?
I hope that all of my HW cyber siblings had a tolerable Thanksgiving...As for me, I'm feeling like the lowly turkey carcass.
Stage 4 Endometriosis
Radical Hysterectomy w/Ovaries removed in 1993-94
Debilitating Pelvic, Vaginal and Rectal Pain
IBS w/constipation, Diverticulosis
Herniated Cervical and Lumbar Discs w/Nerve Compression
Arthritis, Osteoarthritis (Severe Bone Loss), DDD, Sciatica
Severe Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks
SHINGLES VIRUS IN MY EYE/FACE since 6/7/14...NO RELIEF IN SIGHT...literally=(