Posted 2/7/2015 3:47 PM (GMT -7)
Made it home Thursday evening after an unplanned stay at Duke in the Big House. Unfortunately, the med that caused the aseptic meningitis is the one that also had the greatest affect on my systemic inflammation. I go back on the 10th to come up with a game plan. The thought is to spread out the IVIG dosing over 3 days instead of in 1. I'm not a fan as that would have me giving up at least 4 days a month, driving and recovery, which will just add so much stress to my little guy's life :(
Speaking of Nathan-I have court on the 13th. As you know, I'm a single mom. My ex had an affair while I was pregnant. Came home to a note on my door, following my grandfather's funeral, and I was 14 weeks pregnant. I was super shocked, especially since Nathan wasn't a surprise pregnancy. I was very high risk and we had numerous Drs appointments.
Since then, my ex has had very little to do with Nathan. He lost saw him New Year's Day, 2010. He lives locally and there's just no excuse. Nathan used to call and leave messages, that were never returned, and sent him many pictures in the mail. It just breaks my heart that his dad is such a winner. He's actually 2x divorced and has another child who he has nothing to do with.
I've always had custody and he had visitation. A few years ago, the judge took away the visitation since Nathan would have no clue who he was. As you guys know, over the last few years, I end up in the hospital every 3-4 months. Occasionally I end up in the ICU fighting fungal sepsis, and I often have cardiac and lung complications with almost every admission. These hospital stays bring up the question: What would happen to Nathan if something should occur to me? As it stands right now, even though he's been nonexistent in Nathan's life, dad would be the one chosen to raise him. This would be devastating since my extended family is Nathan's world. So, on the 13th, I'm asking the court to grant joint custody of Nathan to myself and my parents. If something should happen to me and I'm unable to raise him, he'd go straight to my parents. This avoids a potentially ugly court battle. Of course, this is assuming that my ex would have anything to do with him at all. I never even knew that this type of custody arrangement was even an option, but my lawyer says it's for this exact type of situation.
I still find this all so incredibly sad, and maddening. I just don't understand not wanting to know your own child. Especially because Nathan is the type of kid my ex would enjoy(I hesitate to say love…). I met my ex while he was coaching the soccer team at the school where I taught. He loved kids, and he loved sports. Hello-you have a kid, and he loves sports! He just such a good, sweet boy. I'm going to brag on him for a sec. Last night we went to a high school basketball game. It was sandlot night so all the parks and rec kids had free admission. At one point the cheerleaders threw shirts up into the stands. Nathan managed to snag a shirt, but it was just about in the hands of a younger boy. Nathan caught the shirt and gave it to the little kid. Later the girls threw small basketballs into the stands. Again, Nathan caught a ball, and then gave it to a younger child. Of course he has his moments-he's 11. Right about the age where a military school sounds wonderful and then get him back when he's 18. But, overall, I'm blessed to have an awesome young man. I just don't understand why his dad is the way he is…
So-please think of us on the 13th. My lawyer doesn't think he'll show up. There has been no response from him. Not even something to say he even has his own attorney.
And, one last bit of fun…Last night at the bball game, I managed to roll my ankle and ended up chipping yet another bone. I think I should invest in some bubble wrap.
Single mom to my little man 11yrs old
38yrs old. JRA since a kid. Chronic Uveitis, pleurisy, pericarditis, intersticial lung disease, sjorgrens syndrome, Cushing's Syndrome, gastroparisis
Bilateral TMJ replacements due to bone fusion, port-a-cath, TPN(IV nutrition), antiphospholipid antibody syndrome(my blood fights itself).