Hi Suzie and thank you for such a warm welcome and for sharing your
insights. I'm glad I found you all too. I wouldn't even be out of bed if it
wasn't for you kind help. I only rose out of bed when I read your post...
I knew that I had an important thing to do in replying to you. So I am
finally out of bed and have started my day - thanks .
Your personal story is similar in ways to mine. I have tried with every effort to get some help from my family , but perhaps it is just like you say ; maybe they have no idea of how it feels to endure this plight alone. But I still can't help feeling hurt and sad that they aren't making an effort to help me. I should mention that about
nine years ago I was hospitalized because my anxiety and depression had driven me to serious thoughts and an attempt at suicide. Because I was suicidal before , I sort of expect them to know how poor my moods are and try to help me. It seems that I have to go through this without there help ,
and that sort of adds to my depression.
I am now living with a sorrow that is only absent durging my sleeping
hours. I think that is at least part of why I find it difficult to get out of bed most days ... I just want to return to the land of sleep.
I have to admit that I am a bit dissapointed with my first session with my psychologist. Although she helped me the past , I had not seen her
4 years , until yesterday. As I expected , it took the full session to explain where my life is at now , but I thought she might offer up some sort of challenge for me to do during the time that I am waiting to see her next. So I am now relying on this forum for some direction and help, at least until I see her next.
As far as the meds go , I think I have been on most of the usual anti-
depressants , and I honestly don't think they help much. I feel that a drug change would be good , but I also feel at times that I need to be admitted to the psychiatric ward while my meds are adjusted - the staff should be the best at deciding if my mood is improving. At the same time , I have a strong reluctance to be hospitalized again , as it was 3 long months of hospitalization the last time , and I did find the whole ordeal tough. So I really don't know what to do about
You asked me if my depression might be driving my family away. The sad truth is I have told them all ( 2 brothers , father , fathers girl friend)
that depression has grabbed me again , but still no help. I feel sad , because I would be there for them if the shoe were on the other foot...
It is a deep sorrow to learn that my family is not there for me. There is one exception , and that is one of my brothers. He is always there to answer my texts , and visit me if I ask. Thank goodness I have him. I find it very interesting that the feeling of being alone family-wise is a common issue among forum members. Most importantly , I really appreciate your offer to not feel alone. That may sound a bit silly , but it
is this sort of thing that really does help me. Genuine care , concern ,
and good advice.
I guess my big chore ahead is to get out of the house for period of time each day. I am only used to going to a couple of favoured spots
( a particular diner , and shopping mall close-by ) and I think I have to
start going to other places and expanding my horizons. Now I must try to think of something positive to do today. Perhaps I will report back that I had ax great afternoon or evening?
Thank you soooo much for sharing and caring.