Well, I am unsure of where/or how to start with my explanation. I am disabled with multiple diseases. I just had my 56th birthday(04/09/64)and I 1st began having massive headaches way back when I was about
5 yrs old and over my entire lifetime my chronic pain has worsened with each passing year and lately I have begun to have some pretty dark thoughts due to my never having one single day where I can say that I no longer have any days at all that are not pain free. I long for the day when I am done living only because I hurt so very badly and I do not know if my Pain Mgmt Dr has any plan for how he will be able to eliminate my pain.
I have DDD(Degenerative Disk/Spine Disease)Herniated Disk from my cervical to my Thoracic Spins,also my Fibromyalgia Disease,Spinal Stenosis from my cervical all the way to the very tip of my Thoracic Spine,I also have the Narrowing of my Thoracic Spine, I have Sciatica now on both sides of my body, I have Chronic Occipital neuralgia Headache pain that I have 24/7(with no medication to help).
I also have Thyroid disease of which years ago my Dr finally had to give me the radioactive capsule to "kill" off my Thyroid so I have no way to control my internal/external body temperature so if I get a drop of my body temp and usually this will occur due to the weather and when the weather fluctuates it will cause me to suddenly grow cold and then very quickly my body will go into a free fall spasm attack and I have had many spasm attacks that lasted for days and I will no longer go to the hospital when I have the extended spasm attacks due to the "Labelization" of my only going for Pain Meds.
I have long ago made the choice and made sure my entire family is aware that under any circumstances are they to send me to the hospital! I would rather just die at home and furthermore, if they can not cope with seeing me this way to dump my body on the side of the road. I understand how most would feel that I am not thinking clearly but if you live every single day all day long with intense pain and you know the only cure is dying, then I would 100 percent prefer to just be left alone to dye.
I can no longer even speak as I had all my life I struggle to speak in person or on the phone the only way that I have the ability to speak via text or email as long as I am not required to use my voice. And though I have mentioned/and shown while having any given physician office visit that something is causing my inability to speak noticeably clear then none of my many Dr's seem the least bit curious even as to the reason. So, as you can tell I am very complex woman that lives every day in intense chronic pain with no
window of relief.
I have made some paragraphs in your post to make it easier to read.
Post Edited By Moderator (straydog) : 4/12/2020 7:13:18 AM (GMT-6)