Posted 9/18/2007 1:16 AM (GMT -7)
hi everyone. i am still waiting on the papers i am supposed to be served (if anyof you remember that)so I can't update on that. i left a message on the guys answering machine, but still not service of papers.
anyway, my pain has gotten progressively worse as i walk. initially my pain hurt the worst when sitting, although it still hurt in all positions. but recently, i am in tears just walking down the hallway, or having to walk through the grocery store. i mean, it brings me to tears to have to walk more than a few feet. my mom wants me to use a scooter, but i am reluctant. i know they help, cause i did use one at cedar point this year, cause there was NO WAY i could walk around that whole park.
i am reluctant because i have already gotten enough comments from people saying i should be ashamed of myself for "abusing" equipment meant for handicapped people. also, when i use my handicap sticker in my mom's car, i have had elderly people stop behind me and yell at me for taking the spot (even if there's a dozen other handicap spots). it's so frustrating that i don't LOOK disabled. no one seems to understand that one can have a disability and NOT be missing a limb, be 100 years old, etc.
i have considered going back to the surgeon to see if i could get a MRI done and see if anything has changed. I don't know what good it would do, but i have really been wondering if something else is wrong. the pain is the same, but it is just getter worse. it hurts all the time, but now walking is the worst position in relation to sitting. i don't know. all i know is i am only 30, and here i am not able to work, or walk, or sit, or anything, and having two young kids not understand how sick i am with the cancer and stuff. i am so TIRED.
anyway, i just wondered if any of you have had to use the scooters in the stores, and if you've been given attitude by someone because you're using it and you don't "look like you need it". wouldn't it be nice if we could just touch someone and they could feel our pain??? would make people a lot more sympathetic i would imagine.
DX: DDD, DJD, HNP L2-S1, OA, OP, intractable pain, severe asthma, COPD, migraines, endometriosis, uterine ca, PCOS, metabolic syndrome, chronic epstien-barr virus, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, PTSD, avoidant personality disorder, social phobia, SLE, connective tissue disorder
MEDS: MS Contin 100mg q 6; MSIR 30mg q 6 PRN; Celebrex 200mg QD; Actiq 600mcg q 6 PRN; Lamactil 25mg BID; Klonopin 0.5mg BID, Cymbalta 60mg QD;
Ventolin 2 puffs q 6; Advair 500/50 one puff q 12, Multivitamin