I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I'm 52 and I haven't worked for two years but thankfully I had disability through my employer. BUT --that ended in July when Liberty Mutual decided that I could do some type of work and cut off my benefits. I was already in the process of applying for disability through the government and just recently received my first denial from them. SO - I'll have to have my lawyer file for reconsideration which will be denied too and then file for an appeal. This could go on forever. My husband works but he can't handle all of the expenses so I am now faced with the task of finding a job after the first of the year. I have bad back issues and don't know what I'll be able to do. I'll be on pain drugs whatever I get hired to do. Our insurance benefits costs us $770/month and with my health problems I cannot be without it.
You said you had a fusion? I had a triple fusion in 1998 and was pain free until 3 years ago. I just finally had to leave work on disability.
I understand all the feelings that you are going through - I never sleep any more because I just lay awake at night worrying - ha - like I can do anything about the problems at 2 AM!!
I don't know if I can be of any help other than to be here to support you when you need it and pray for you too!