I just want to say first off that I am really thankful I found this site.
I was in a car accident in '04 (of no fault of my own), and have been suffering with chronic back pain ever since.
I started off with percocet and was slowly worked by my doctor up to MScontin, (which I hated) I was not told about
the physical dependence that would ensue. The Mscontin was so awful my doctor switched me over to Oxycontin. My real problem was that I was hiding the fact I was on pain meds from my family, and my boyfriend at the time. I felt so sick and wracked with guilt about
the hiding, I began drinking heavily as well.Which as most of you know, is a very dangerous mix. I would hide the pill bottles under my laundry (along with the liquor bottles). I was truly suffering and crying out for help. Finally, my ex found the pill bottles, and the liquor bottles and the 'you know what' finally hit the fan. I ended up moving into my parents house, and my mom who is a registered nurse, helped me to reduce my dosage of oxycodone from 100mg/day to 40. I just want people out there who feel they are all alone, that YOU ARE NOT!! And please, if you are hiding an addiction, tell someone, whether it is calling a hotline, or telling a trusted friend or family member. Keeping a secret inside will slowly destroy you. But there is always hope, and always help out there!
My main problem was the guilt, sadness, and extreme isolation I felt. My parents still know I am on the oxycodone, and don't like it at all, but I've got to work, and sometimes it's the only thing that will get me through the day. I am now also with a very loving person that I do not have to hide anything from. He is more understanding and approachable. My main fear was being judged and thought of as an addict. I am so thankful I was finally "found out" and my family was there to help. I also realized that living with chronic pain is horribly difficult, and taking narcotic medication to help doesn't mean you are a crazy drug addict, which is a misconception by some (and was a misconception by me too)!
Anyway, my other problem is that my health insurance runs out next month, and I must find a way to completely get off the medication. I know that it is not just physical dependence I am dealing with, but also emotional and psychological. Just the act of taking the pills each day has become part of the dependence I've developed.
If anyone out there has any advice, please, I am all ears. Are there any natural/homeopathic remedies out there to help with withdrawl symptoms? Are there any other non- narcotic medications that have helped anyone? I have used clonodine before. Has that helped anyone out there? Please, those out there with knowledge or ideas, or similar stories, I am all ears.
Thanks to all who took the time to read this.