I have had crohn's for at least 7 years (most likely 10 or more), at least that is how long ago I was diagnosed. I tried for many years to work through it, and finally gave into applying for disability. I finally won at least some of the disability claim that I had applied for.
It seems I am in a remission and would like to return to work. The problem I am having is this: I was once a work-a-holic, who was always the guy you could turn to in any situation and I would do my best to resolve what ever problem there was even if it meant sleeping in the office. I have always been open and honest with my employers ever since my diagnosis. I tell them what I feel my limitations are and how I need to work around then BEFORE they hire me. Unfortunately, the honesty has not been repaid over the last 7 years. I have been lied to by almost every company I have worked for, and when it comes down to me needing something from them (something they said I could have at the time of hiring me) the went back on their word. This has happened in some form or another at every job I have had since my diagnosis, with a few exceptions, and those exceptions, I can't really say they would have reacted any better, they just never had to deal with a full blown flare up in my time with them (I was in a business with very high turnover and it was considered normal to bounce around early on).
I just can't seem now to get around the fear of ending up in the same situation no matter what I do. I'm really terrified of returning to work and having this cycle repeat itself. I left my chosen career because the extreme stress of the car sales/finance business caused my health to deteriorate. I tried other feilds, even went back to blue collar work, I won't bore you with the details, but they took the worst advantage of me and my situation. So, this cycle has me almost frozen in a place I don't want to be, but can't seem to break free.
On top of it all, I have a baseline of pain that I deal with even in remission (doctor is still trying to figure it out, it is narrowed down to 2 possibilities, and if none of those it remains unknown). I now take mostly painkillers, and they are very constipating, often to the point of becoming impacted. This of course after losing 2/3 of my colon to a surgery leaves me very uncomfortable very quickly. If it were to happen while I worked, I would easily miss a week of work each time and it seems to come in cycles sometimes lasting up to 3 or 4 months.
I need suggestions on what to do. Either suggestions on a type of job I could do easily and part time, maybe from home. If not that, has anyone else out there been frozen from fear and anxiety like this? And if so, what did you do to get unstuck?
Sorry this post was so long, but I just had no better way to describe what is going on and I fear that in an effort to be somewhat brief that I may not have fully explained myself anyway, so feel free to ask any questions as well. Thanks again.