I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. You're under a lot of stress from so many directions, and you need to share your feelings with someone. Seeing a psychologist should be helpful.
I strongly suggest you ask them to schedule weekly or bi-weekly meetings until you are feeling better and more confident, or at least until the end of the semester. Have you considered changing prescript
ions? If you aren't coping well on the status quo, then you need to try something new. I'm not sure if it is advisable to make any drastic changes to your meds right now... Maybe you can wait until the summer (if you don't have classes then? I don't know how med school works) or at the beginning of a semester when you won't be having exams for a while. Consider too talking with your college to see if you can take a lighter course load while your doctors sort out what's going on.
This may not be what you want to hear, but I have friends that just finished med school, and are in their residencies now--working 80+ hours a week, and they tell me the stress is worse. So keeping that in mind, NOW is the time to try different prescript
ions, therapy, diet, exercise, whatever it takes so you can find a routine that allows you feel better.
I know somewhat how you feel; I've been through rough patches. I had been in therapy starting at maybe age 9 when my parents were going through a messy divorce, and from then on almost consistently through high school, and during my second year of undergrad. Often I would spend the entire hour crying while I talked about
family problems and my fears, but I felt so relieved when it was over and was generally happy the rest of the week. It helped me immensely, and I did not take ADs with the exception of two approx. one year periods (first time we lost our home in a hurricane; second time found out my father, who I had not seen in 8 years, was deathly ill) when I recognized I was to "far gone" as you said--when I was feeling sleeplessness and loss of appetite. For the past seven years I have gotten by without any "outside help" except for support from my husband.
Although it may sound illogical, but if you're the type of person that worries way too much, as I am, then burying yourself in work or hobbies and thereby ignoring your problems for a while is helpful. Nowadays if I have trouble sleeping, exercising--a brisk walk on the treadmill with small weights--right before bed seems to help.
Post Edited (Confused in IL) : 1/14/2008 12:27:06 PM (GMT-7)