I just need to vent, guys, I'm sorry.
I moved to Colorado in October. I got a Remicade infusion right before we moved. I had been doing FINE with the Remi treatments every 16 weeks. Until Colorado. I got sick with a nasty cold/caugh thing in November. Took me three weeks to kick that. Then I got sick again just in time for Christmas. Finally kicked that... only to get yet ANOTHER cold/cough thing. And I've needed remicade for about two months now, but my new doc won't let me get it until all the insurance/patient assistance crap is sorted out... basically I can't get it until they know it will be paid for... so yeah. No remicade for me.
I'M SO SICK OF BEING SICK!
And trying to explain to my boss that, "no, I can't take cold medicine when I'm flairing because it will only stay IN me for a mere 15 minutes..." Yeah. I love those conversations. I just tried yet another cold med to try to alleviate the coughing and snot, and it literally stayed in my body for 45 minutes. What I didn't throw up came out the other way. I'm sure it did a lot of good while it was in there!
I hate reaching this point, because I know that I am a blink away from needing to go to the emergency room. But then, I have THOSE conversations to look forward to. "Yes, I just need fluid. Can you just hook me up for a day and give me some fluid? My body won't let me drink anything - I need it through my veins." "No, I don't need 101 tests. I can tell you what's wrong. If you REALLY want to be helpful, you'll give me fluids with a side of Remicade. Could I have that with a dash of Benadryl, too?" If only it were that simple, right?
All whining aside, I have had a pretty good run of things up until the move. The remicade is amazing, when I can get it. And my life was back to normal. Maybe that's why this is such a slap in the face? I was doing well enough before the stress/sickness/move that I felt like a normal person again. Nothing like a good flair and a whomper of a cold to knock you back to reality. Stupid cold medicine. ARG!
The silver lining: while the emergency room may smell bad, and I may not get a nice nurse, at least I'll have cubes of blue jello to look forward to, and endless hours of crappy cable (I don't own a television, so that's kind of like being at a hotel and watching cable!). I'll just pretend that it's a mini-vacation. In an uncomfortable bed. With tubes all over the place. Uhg. Maybe I'll give it a few more hours and try to keep some fluid in me after all. Blue Jello cubes really aren't worth all that.
Sorry for the rant. Thanks for listening.