feeling super stupid

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 481
   Posted 1/28/2008 9:49 AM (GMT -7)   
So I've been having joint pain for a while now.  Over the weekend it got much worse, and today there was no way I could go to work.  I could barely get out of my bedroom because I couldn't turn the doorknob!  It was taking too long to complete my morning routine and I felt there was no way I could drive.  So I called the educational director of the school I work in (that's who I'm supposed to call when I'm calling off) and gave her a brief synopsis of the situation.  I told her I was planning to email the director of the school and the program coordinators that I work with more closely.  I thought that would be a good idea because this could potentially affect my job performance and attendance in the future until I get this thing figured out.  I got an email from the director telling me while she appreciated my email, I don't need to divulge so much.  Now I feel super dumb.  Do you all tell your boss what's going on?  I guess I can't take the email back so I should just get over it, but I feel like if I make it to work tomorrow I'm going to be embarrassed to see her. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1665
   Posted 1/28/2008 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
how rude of her! I think you did the right thing and please don't put yourself down. I am one who tells everyone that I am not well, but you will get a broad spectum of answers to that question. yp
48 y/o woman.  Diagnosed 4/06 after colonscopy, SBFT, CT-scan all showed crohns. 3 months later, after pred and remicade, all tests showed no crohns. December '06 had adhesions cut through a laparoscopy. Now just taking Glycolax, Ultra Fiber Plus, probiotics, and vicodin as needed. Experimenting with gluten-free diet per naturopath's tests.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1010
   Posted 1/28/2008 10:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Nothing at all to feel embarrassed about. She's probably just trying to protect you. I don't know what the job situation is like for you, but health is often considered a big privacy issue and perhaps she wants to protect you (and herself) from the potential for future accusations of discrimination on the basis of medical condition.

Regardless what motivated her, you didn't do anything to be embarrassed about. It's just a learning curve, trying to figure out how much to disclose and in what circumstances.

30+ years living with Crohn's.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 267
   Posted 1/28/2008 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Try not to be embarassed when you see her tomorrow at work, I would just not mention it at all. How were you to know your e:mail had TMI...so don't sweat it. Actually, it was pretty bad manners of her to mention it to you at all, but needless to say you can't turn back the clock. Just don't mention it to her and go about your business, she and you will both forget about it in time.
I hope you feel better soon Nikki!
Marci, 38 years young, Rockledge, FL
Dx with Crohn's disease March 2006
Currently on bi-weekly Humira, daily 6mg Entocort, daily 2-3x 5mg hydrocodone (for pain), and daily 75mg Effexor,
plus 3x per day heavy iron supplements for anemia,
calcium supplement, daily multi-vitamin,
Lasix as needed for ankle/feet swelling
Self-proclaimed "recluse"  do to CD  ;)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 481
   Posted 1/28/2008 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the support everyone.  At least I know there's one place I can go where I'll never be disclosing too much information!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 1/28/2008 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Never!!This is our "too much information sanctuary". I feel you shouldn't worry about it too much.Sometimes people feel uncomfortable knowing that someone is in pain or sick and there isn't much they can do about it. Maybe she was just trying to convey that just calling in sick was enough ....that she or they know you well enough to know that you are not at home "faking" it just to get out of work. ...and the way she worded it came out all wrong. Anyway. try not to let it bother you. Good luck , hope you are feeling better soon.
love and prayers,
50 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 345
   Posted 1/31/2008 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
unfortunately every boss is different. Some dont care why you are out, others want to know and some feel they have a right to know.

Mcleaver's advice is good. Dont mention it further.

I was lucky because my boss asked me why i had a dr appt every 8 weeks (remicade) because he wanted to congratulate me on being pregnant LOL. I told him what I have and that was it. Now I just tell him I have a Dr appt and he doesnt ask or mention it.
32 years old. Diagnosed in 2002ish. 
Taking Asacol, Lomotil TID, and on Remicade since 2004. 
Lower Bowel area only, except for the short stint (about 2 weeks) that I had mouth sores.  Also have external/anal fistula and anal/vaginal fistula. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 1/31/2008 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I tell everyone everything. I wouldn't worry. She was probaby saying dont worry, you don't have to explain yourself. We trust you.
26 Year old married female.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  Currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day, hysociamine prn, nexium, and ortho evra.  Good times!!!

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