You are right and I know that. Somehow over the last year I have arrived at this point. Since I was 12 years old I have dealt with this DD and have never felt sorry for myself (with the exception of a day here and there). Part of it may be that I have been having marriage problems. My husband has become very demanding...he has started to expect more for me than I am able to do. He is also very critical of my business (I am and Princess House Consultant and do this part-time). I have been doing this and love getting out with women, he is not happy because I don't make enough money to suit him. Does not understand that it's not just about the money, it's also about my sanity. I homeschool our son and didn't work (haha) until he was 12 yrs. old. I believe alot of my anxiety is coming from the situation at home. Also, my guts have started that rumbling again and I am terrified of being sick again.
When the Crohn's was active I would sit on the toliet and be throwing up in a trash can. The pain was horrible, and the lack of understanding from my husband was even worse. To this day he doesn't seem to get it. Gets annoyed when I can't go out and do something with him in the morning. He is overall a good man, I just think he has a hard time understanding. He says things like "oh, I forget you can't go out in the morning" or "Your tough, you can handle it" or, my personal favorite "you look so good, I forget you don't feel good".
I do need to make my list of what to be thankful for. I do need to stop focusing on the negative; and start focusing on what is good in my life. There is alot to be grateful for, I just have allowed myself to spiral into this negative, anxious person. I will take your advise and starting today will make that list, and conscious effort to stay positive.
I here stories like yours and realize I am very fortunate! I am glad you and your girls are out of that horrible situation! Thanks for your prayers, can always use them!
Love and prayers to you too,
Diagnosed 1972 with UC (12 years old); many flares over the years
1994 had my son and became very ill; took 4 years to get the correct diagnosis.
PCP diagnosed with IBS and was down 70lbs. by the time I insisted on seeing a specialist.
1997 Diagnosed with Fistulizing Crohn's
1998 had 1ft. of small intestine removed including terminal illieum, have had constant diarrhea since.
Currently taking imuran, prilosec, synthroid, zoloft, xanax & B12