I too am experiencing the same feelings. Anxiety, depression, feeling like a burden, sick of this DD and feeling sorry for myself because this is my life! Two months ago I reached a low point and decided I needed to talk to my PCP. I had already been taking zoloft for the depression, but the anxiety did not go away. She sent me to a therapist, and I really believe she is helping me sort through things. I homeschool my son and am a Princess House Consultant part-time. I can manage this, because I am able to set my our hours and do parties as little or as often as I want. I can not even imagine trying to work a full time job! Before our son was born (he's 12 now) I was a customer service rep. for an insurance agency. Very stressful occupation, could not even imagine going back to that! I have constant D and also have the noises from my gut. I too have been living with this for a long time and also have always walked around with a smile, tried to hide how I really felt (didn't even share my pain, how tired I am all the time, all the joint pains ect.). At some point something snapped and I just could not keep up the act anymore. For me, I think for all those years I was trying to pretend everthing was okay...even though I knew it wasn't. The pressure of keeping up the act, never allowing myself to get behind on housework or schoolwork, never allowing anything to be out of place; basically trying to be perfect finally caught up with me. This is a horrible D that hangs over us every day and constantly reminds us that this is the hand we've been dealt, who wouldn't eventually become anxious! The people who are in our life sometimes have a very hard time understanding all of the health problems that come along with crohn's. In the end, I believe we have to stop being so hard on ourselves. We did not choose this life, but we have to live it. If you are like me it is very hard to stop judging ourselves. When I catch myself doing this I mentally try to talk myself out of the feeling, the times where it doesn't work is when I don't catch myself. Hope things get better for you, I am also fairly new to this site, but have already figured out it was a blessing that I stumbled across it.
Diagnosed 1972 with UC (12 years old); many flares over the years
1994 had my son and became very ill; took 4 years to get the correct diagnosis.
PCP diagnosed with IBS and was down 70lbs. by the time I insisted on seeing a specialist.
1997 Diagnosed with Fistulizing Crohn's
1998 had 1ft. of small intestine removed including terminal illieum, have had constant diarrhea since.
Currently taking imuran, prilosec, synthroid, zoloft, xanax & B12