thank you all so very much for the much needed support. you have NO IDEA how much letting this ALL OUT truly helps. i'm still very shaken & upset & embarassed by the whole thing, but the more i discuss it the better it's becoming to handle.
so thank you...
dear crohn'snme: "how am i feeling now?" unsettled is a good way to put it. say right now?...it's 12:40a and i laid in bed for 2 hours trying to get to sleep. Nadda! having trouble trying to calm down; i'm trying to occupy my thoughts with something distracting because THIS IS ALL WHAT RUNS THROUGH MY HEAD! feeling ashamed at what i did, embarassed because i yelled & screamed @ the nurses, feeling vulnerable, etc...ya' get the picture right?
i know it's only been 4 days since it happened, so i am hoping that each day gets better.
PHYSICALLY how i am feeling? like hammered crap! you & everyone here knows how ya' feel when just out of the hospital for Crohns & obstructions and all.
the no food & no sleep for 6 days takes it toll.
i tried solid food today & it didn't go well. the abdominal pain is MUCH BETTER than last week; but feeling the type of exhaustion where if ya' don't lay down you'll FALL DOWN! and this morning some wicked toilet bowl troubles & nasty cramps.
Remicade yes! i've been on Remicade for 2 years now [was on enbrel & then humira in the past, both for 2 years each]
the dose now is Remicade 600mg Q3weeks. the 'cade for me has been THE BEST med so far for the Crohns & RA. it took about 11months to start to notice some improvement for the joints. it helped the most for the small bowel problems i have from the CD. since november 07 i fell into a downward spiral but it's only just recently that with an increase in the Remicade have i started to make very small improvements again. (diarrhea under control, little bleeding, no adhesions, only 1 obstruction in 2007).
the cocktail my GI dude has me on now is: Avelox400mg; Remicade; 6MP 50mg daily then 100mg on saturday & sunday; Pentasa 4G; Zolfran & Nexium for vomiting; URSO Forte 500mgBID (gallbladder) Dilaudid & Oxycontin & Entocort.
hi & thanks FitzyK! oh i feel for ya hon! me too! that's so funny....that panic attack! it's like..."if i don't leave here NOW i'm gonna die!" aw you are just like i am...i was crying & pleading to have the staff come in to say i'm sorry! i wanted to apologize to everyone! yeah, the shame & humiliation is terrific.
my GI dude mentioned compazine & how he doesn't like to RX it due to all of it's neuroligical effects....((((hugs)))) sorry it had to happen to you too!
my hunny lives in northwest NJ right near the mountains...so i am sooooo relieved i'm HERE & NOT in the city where i live. the peace & tranquility here is helping immensely. i think i'm going to pack my crap & move in permanently!
trying to wind down....
....thank you all for helping me through....
...you are fabulous....
each & every one of you...