OT Medical terms I find

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 6/18/2008 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
 Just a few explanations to help you understand. Like the word Aaaah. What the doctor tells a patient to say before gagging the patient to the max. Also word preceding expletive when one receives the bill.
 Admitting receptionist. Personnel trained to smile pleasantly while extracting promissory notes, future inheritances, gold fillings, etc from patients prior to allowing them admission to the hospital. In the emergency department, admitting receptionists make sure that multiple redundant forms full of obscure and irrevelant information are filled in triplicate before treatment is begun.
 Dietitian. Person responsible for making sure that food reaching patients is without salt, sugar,fat,carbohydrates,calories, and is cold, soggy, unpalatable, and tasteless. Dietitians strive to ensure that hospital food is the consistency and taste of play dough.
 G.O.K... Sophisticated diagnosis..Stands for  " God Only Knows!"
 Midwife. Doctors second wife, coming after the first wife,(who was dumped after putting the doctor through long years of schooling), and before the last wife (the young pretty thing the doctor marries in his declining senile years.
 Pharmacist. Highly trained professional who spent 5 years in college learning how to read doctors' prescriptions and count pills from big bottles into little bottles.
 Radiologist. Doctor who prefers to deal with pictures of people rather than people themselves.
 Wallet biopsy. Most important procedure done in hospital, whereby all dirty green paper and loose silver is extracted from the leather object in the patients pocket or purse.
 Dilate.  Live long
 Out patient..a person who has fainted
 Barium..What to do when patient dies
I am trying my best to dilate.. Hope you guys are too
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/18/2008 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Sniper what would we do without you!! I think we all have heard G.O.K. way too many times as well as we have all had too many wallet biopsies. I really like that one.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 6/18/2008 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   
We have similar terms in our government funded National Health Service here in the UK.
eyes I hear what you say. ("I ain't listening, and there ain't a d**n thing you can do about it.")
This may cause some discomfort. ("Patients normally make funny grunting noises here. I wonder why.") confused
This will hurt a little. ( devil "I wonder if you will be a squirmer or a kicker - hmm, better stand to one side just in case. Earplugs in ? Okay, let's go...")
Consultant : a rare if not mythical creature, somehow related to the equally mythical " NHS training programme".
Queueing: a now extinct system of triage for first-time presentation of symptoms, replaced by diagnosis within two weeks and instant prescription of the cheapest or most easily accessed therapy available.
I'm going to put you on a medication that will hopefully get rid of these side effects. ("I don't know you from Adam. If your liver can't cope with things, why shouldn't I find out the hard way ? No-one does autopsies anymore anyway." ) skull
I'm sorry we can't do anything more for you at the moment, but I'm sure you understand the financial situation with the local Healthcare Trust at the moment. ("He'll be back via Accident and Emergency. God, what a waste of seven minutes this has been. If it wasn't for that 100k a year, I couldn't do this job.") yeah
I'm not bitter, I'm just twisted. tongue

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 6/18/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I had a psych professor say that when you are very sick in the hospital they try to give you tasteless foods so that you won't grow an aversion to that food after associating it with the hospital and your sickness.

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 6/18/2008 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
What, you mean they actually put some thought into what they serve people in hospital?

Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 6/18/2008 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, it's called "Make it tasteless" :-) LOL
Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS too
Meds I have tried:  Just about everything 
Meds currently on:  Prednisone 30mg tapering
                           Methotrexate injection 12wks
                           Folic Acid
No Surgeries

Elite Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20577
   Posted 6/18/2008 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought that the actual purpose behind bland hospital food is because they make it in such large volumes it would be easiest for them not to add any spices because typically many who visit the hospital for stays may have severe enough health issues, like with salt for example, many people have issues with sodium in their diet so to make it easier and cheaper the food is bland.

My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 6/18/2008 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
someone did a wallet biopsy on me when I was admitted last and charged a bunch of fraud to my bank acct! lol...thank God I caught it

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength

Diagnosed with severe Crohn's colitis in May 2005--spread to ileum and small intestine as of April 2008. Have taken Imuran, Remicade, TPN, Colozal, Entocort, Flagyl, PamineForte, Cipro, Dicyclomine, Prednisone, Asacol, Prevacid, and the list goes on. Currently on Remicade every 8wks, 40mg Pred, Pentasa.

Texan with Crohn's
Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 6/19/2008 4:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Good thread, Sniper!

As always, ya make me laugh. You rock!! Where's the pict of your computer room? I want to see it.

-Leslie a/k/a Texan with Crohn's
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