Oh, I miss having pets. If you can't speak, you can't defend yourself. Reminds me of a joke my father tells:
A man and his girlfriend went to meet the young woman's father. As they entered and sat down, the family dog, Duke, proceeded to sit under the boyfriend's chair. Over the course of the conversation, the man starts to feel a big one start to well up deep within him, but dreads the embarrasment of farting in front of his new girlfriend's father. Unfortunately, it's too much to bear, and the boyfriend eventually lets one rip. The father immediately turns his face sour, and says "Duke!". The boyfriend thinks, "thank God, he thinks it's the dog". After a while, the boyfriend lets another one go thinking for sure that the father will just think it's the dog again. Sure enough, the father says louder than the last time "Duke, come on!". The boyfriend is starting to feel more and more comfortable, so the next time he feels one welling up, he doesn't even hesitate, and lets her fly. The father, disgusted at this point, says "Duke...! Get the hell out from under that guy before he takes a crap on you!" ;-)
Oh, I love that one!
BTW- sounds weird, but I love the smell of my own farts. Dog farts? Ewww!
28, male, diagnosed CD in 93'. Currently taking Humira, and darvoset for pain. Also getting acupuncture and chinese herbs as well as a massage when I can afford it. 107 lb
"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV"