Having a Rough Day

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 456
   Posted 8/5/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
My boss sat me down for a talk again this morning.  He's concerned about my health and the impact that it's having on the office.  He's bothered by the "1 to 2 days off per month" I'm taking.  (Reality: 1 full day and 2 half days in the last six weeks.)  All my time off for doctor's visits.  (One office visit so far this year.)  And all the days I miss because of Remicade.  (1 day or half day every 8 weeks.) 
He started in with how much sympathy he and everyone at the main office feels for me, and how he wishes this never happened to me.  At which point I burst into tears.  I try to stay upbeat and positive, to not dwell on it, but I wish every day that this never happened.  Then he suggested that it might be time for me to research the company's long or short term disability insurance, or social security disability.  He said that he wanted to be sure that I would remain financially stable and maintain my insurance, and that they weren't going to "put me out on the street."  But what is taking disability at this point except shuffling me out the door?  It's not like I'm going in for surgery or something, with the hope of remission after healing.  I plan to talk to my doctor about it, but I don't see how taking a leave of absence for a week or a month is going to make me all better.  The meds help, but they haven't "fixed" me.  Right now, I'm not sure I believe that there is a med out there that will do that. 
I take my medicine, I try to eat right and exercise and get enough sleep.  But I can't keep on top of a 40 hour a week job and then come home and do everything I need to do to take care of myself.  I just can't.  For most of the last year my game plan has been to make it to work as much as physically possible and hope I don't crash before the end of the week.  In the last three weeks or so, I've missed some work and used that time/energy to grocery shop and cook a healthy meal.  I feel a little better, the house isn't quite so filthy, but now the boss is on my back. 
I can't do it all.  I'm a single woman who lives by herself.  My closest family is hundreds of miles away.  There's no one I can depend on to pick up the slack.  If I lose this job I'll lose my means of support and my insurance.  I don't know how I'll find another job with this level of insurance, with the kind of schedule I can handle, and that will allow me to support myself.  I'm afraid I'm going to end up moving 1000 miles away and living with my parents.  I'm in my 30s.  I'm afraid I'll end up dependent on them and sucking away their retirement savings.  I've been on my own and financially independant since I was 21.  I don't know if I can emotionally handle going back to living with my parents.  But I feel like I'm one small nudge from falling down that hole.

Rider Fan
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1445
   Posted 8/5/2008 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
To be honest it doesn't sound like you miss that much time and I think they're being complete pricks. I mean, it's not like you're going to be sick forever, they can't handle a day or two absence per month in the short term? Sorry to hear about this, that really sucks.
Dx'ed in 1999. No surgeries.

Current meds: 75 mg 6MP. 10mg prednisone (trying to taper). Udo's Choice Probiotics (30 billion).

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 8/5/2008 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
I could have written that post myself, so I feel for you.

My boss did exactly the same. I'm from the uk so I needed to work 16 hours a week to get tax credits, which I could if I got a note from my doctor saying I had an illness that prevented me doing more hours. I was going to do this, but because business got bad, she talked me into going onto incapacity benefit instead saying I wasn't fit for work, which admittedly at the moment I'm not, but I've had no time off sick apart from 2 days when I was in hospital, which is her fault anyway for calling me an ambulance when I had an allergic reaction to my painkillers. I said I just wanted to go home, but she insisted. Luckily it got me on Humira, but that's completely wiped me out now so I'm not fit for anything. I'm hoping to start feeling better eventually and get another more suitable job, but I feel totally shat on by them, for turfing me out and using my illness against me, when they know it's actually because they haven't got enough hours for me.

Sorry that's not really helpful to you, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Just makes you feel crap when they make out you're good for nothing because you have this illness which you try desperately to work around just to have some sort of life.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do regarding living arrangements.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 8/5/2008 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
If you are taking time off of work and using your vacation and or PTO, it is not anyones buisness why you are taking time off. I have taken about 3 days off last month for doc appts. I felt bad and explained it to my boss, she it was none of her business why I was taking time off she just ask that I give her at least a weeks notice. She said if I run out of vacation time, I need to file for FMLA so I could have time off with out pay and do not have to worry about my job. Do you have the option to file for FMLA?

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 8/5/2008 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I think you should call Human Resources....to me? this is a type of discrimination...if your time off hasnt affected your work quality...then that is simply BS simply put!!!

and if you use your vacation or WHATEVER DAYS FOR WHATEVER...then its not their business....JMHO

sorry you are having a rough day! (in my prayers!)

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength

Dx'd w/Crohn's colitis in May05--spread to ileum & small intestine as of April08. Past meds: Imuran, Remicade, TPN, Colozal, Entocort, Flagyl, PamineForte, Cipro, Dicyclomine, Pred, Asacol, Prevacid, and the list goes on. Currently on Humira every 2wks,  Pentasa, Tapering Prednisone now.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 456
   Posted 8/5/2008 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for the support everyone.

Part of the problem is that the company has no set number of sick days per year.  You are allowed to take off whenever you need, as long as it's "reasonable."  When I was critically sick last year, I was in the hospital for two weeks and mostly out of the office from the end of April to mid-June, and nothing was said.  Now I miss one whole day and two half days, and it's disrupting normal operations.  FMLA is not an option.  There are only about 20-30 of us total, and only three of us here in Texas.  My boss was very careful to point out that in a larger office, with more people to pick up the slack, my days off wouldn't be a problem.  But in our small office it causes problems.

I'd call HR, but we don't really have an HR department.  There's a guy in the main office who handles some accounting stuff, and he sends people their benefits packages, but he's not a trained HR guy.  He strikes me as a bit of a gossip, actually, and I think talking to him would do more harm than good.  The boss told me he was going to talk to him to get me information about our disability insurance, and I'm just going to leave it at that.

Post Edited (bektold) : 8/5/2008 3:20:25 PM (GMT-6)

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