Today I had my MPRE which is a standardized professional responsibility exam for soon to be lawyers. Its only a 2 hour test that begins at 12:30. I figured I would have no problem with it but just to be sure I emailed the board to make sure bathroom breaks were allowed. Although the clock would not be stopped they assured me that I would be allowed to use the restroom. For that reason I didn't request accommodations. To do so would be a long process with doctors forms and forms from disability services at school, etc.
So I had a kind of stressful morning. It is very stormy here and 2 of the roads to get to and from my house were flooded. Some other roads were closed. I worked the morning (and reviewed some). As the exam approached I got a little nervous and a little poopy. I took some hyosciamine and went to my exam. I also had caffeinated tea in the morning which was probably a bad idea. I thought the test was at a dumb time because it was right at lunch time. I didn't want to eat right before but I also feel sick if I let myself get too hungry. I would have been allowed food or water if I applied to be accommodated. So after I pull in I know Im going to have to poop so I pop an immodium. I get to where the exam is and it is in a medium sized classroom in a random building on campus but completely on the other side of the floor from the bathroom. I can hold it long enough to get there but that is just more time that I am out of the exam. I start to feel my anxiety rise.
When I see the classroom the door is in the front and the seats go to the back of the room. Since I worked I was in high heels. I was worried about being in a seat where I would have to climb over people or make a scene to leave. I knew that we weren't allowed to pick seats and that they were assigned but I thought they would be assigned on the spot. So I told the proctors that I use the restroom frequently and would prefer a front aisle seat. They say "sorry they are already assigned, what's your name." I tell them and go figure. I have the seat furthest in the back of the room, against the wall. Awesome. I ask if it can be moved. Nope. So I verify that I can leave to use the restroom. They say yes but please try to keep your heels quiet when you leave. Walk on your tip toes. Yeah, right ok. You would think since I contacted the agency to assure that I would be able to use the bathroom they would assign me an easy out seat. No that would be too smart.
So anxiety creeps higher. I am generally not one to care what others think of me. But at the same time I don't want to disturb other people's exams. And I was feeling so icky. It is one thing to need a bathroom break or two. Another thing to need 3 in 10 minutes or something like that. So the proctors were evil. It is a timed exam and people seated on the opposite wall couldn't see the clock yet they refused to move it.
They pass out the exam and start having us fill in the basic name, date of birth, etc. But they are going SO SLOW. Everyone write your name... look up when you are done... don't skip ahead, blah blah blah. So I really couldn't get up then because either everyone would have to wait for me or I would fall behind on the obvious instructions. We get through the first 5 things to fill in and I HAVE TO GO. So I just say fudge it, and I get up and walk out. Didn't ask, didn't tell, just left. When I came back they were apparently waiting for me. Grand. I made it through the rest of the instructions. Finally we got the exam. I just didn't know how I was going to do it.
I told myself to just go through it super quick and answer everything and then if I have time go through more carefully. I ended up having to get up again about 20 minutes into the exam. The proctor scowled at me and said "tip toes" I said "im trying" clink clink clink, I ended up taking my shoes off and running lol. I ended up finishing the exam with almost an hour to spare but it was just so hard to concentrate at first when I was trying not to poop my pants. I got naseaus too. Then my stomach started making these awful noises. A cross between hunger and pending diarrhea. We were in such close quarters. I know the people in front of and behind me must have heard it. And I see these people everyday when school is in session.
Its not like me to care much but this was just too much to handle. I have been doing so well, why am I mess when it counts?
And my husband has been really sick with either IBS or a bug. So even though he understands what its like he is having trouble being sympathetic because he has been working and feeling worse than me all week. I had promised him I would clean the house tonight because he has friends coming tomorrow. I am just not up to it. He has done most of the cleaning which makes me feel worse because really he is sicker than me.
Oh well... and so it goes. I'll let you know if I passed in 5 weeks or so.
26 Year old married female law student (last year!!). Diagnosed w/ CD 4 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. I am sort of lactose intollerant too but can handle anything cultured and do well w/ lactose pills and lactaid. For crohns I am currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day and hysociamine prn. I also have bad acid reflux and have been on PPI's since age 13. I have been through prilosec, prevacid, and nexium. Currently I am on Protonix in the morning and Zantac at night. I also take a birth control pill to allow some fun in my life.