Apologies in advance, but I am so frustrated right now....
It hurt so badly to walk around campus today. I will have to take a pain killer every Thursday for the rest of the school year because my lab is four hours long, and you have to stand the entire time. There is no room for a stool at our work stations. I can't buy any of my school books until tomorrow, but I already have page after page of homework assigned so I can't even study for it let alone do it. I've been trying to work on my chemistry homework and was doing fine until I hit conversion factors which would be all right EXCEPT that I cannot concentrate so I'm sitting here confused and frustrated at at the order of operations in which to do so. Convert 332 m/s to m/h okay...very simple and I cannot comprehend it for the life of me. I just sit there dazed and confused. My vision is extremely blurry because of my medication, my concentration is broken because of my medication, and I am exhausted at the end of the day from walking to my classes which are all pretty close together in the first place(I passed out for three hours after I got home). I'm worried..I have to be able to understand and remember, but I can barely remember what I've read just two seconds ago. I'm tired of being in a haze and, I especially am tired of being in pain 24/7 from overexerting myself just to go to school, which is my only source of income so taking a break is out of the question. Blahhhhh. And I'm tired of losing blood!! My birthday is tomorrow and I can't eat my ritual pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing...a popsicle will have to suffice as a substitute, but sometimes I really miss my comfort food...Basically, I am hungry, grumpy, confused, and wanting so badly to understand but cannot right now because of the medication I have to take to feel semi-normal. And it's already 11:30! I still have to finish my chemistry chapter and take a shower, but I have to get up at 8 and I need to sleep. Sorry for the complaints, but I have nowhere else to say it...no one else would understand anyway. I need to go practice breathing exercises or something...
But to be fair, good things from today:
My lab manual I found out will only cost ten dollars instead of seventy six
I got to eat chinese food, moo goo gai pain anyway because it's basically just tender chicken and white rice
I got lovely birthday cards in the mail today so I have a little extra money just for myself
I made it through my lab WITHOUT a pain killer(I took one later so I could stop the stomach pain and eat my cheese and crackers)
My lab teacher Dr. Hazari and TA Garrett both seem like very pleasant people
I'm alive and able to walk for the most part..
My boyfriend and brother are getting along really well(my brother just got back from Japan after a year and is living with us in our apartment)
I at least lost a little less blood today
My boyfriend and I have a brand new car that starts! The monthly payments are a little high but being careful with our budget will allow it
I have this place to find sanctuary
20 years old, Diagnosed with severe Crohn's and colitis in May of 2008.
Prednisone, pentasa, alinia, bentyl, prilosec, tandem plus, and the occasional ultracet
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy(very possibly due to Crohn's inflammation) in July of 2008.
Due to start Imuran September 17 depending on blood results.