Advice on coping with this disease...severely depressed

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 153
   Posted 10/8/2008 11:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I was just wondering if anyone could offer some coping mechanisms for dealing with the depression that I get from this disease. skull
Over the last three months, I have been hospitalized 3 times for pain, without any real explaination as to what was causing it. Other than Crohn's. This has caused unpaid work leave, I'm the primary income source, and no resolution.
I started Humira last week (passing out on the third injection), but continue to have pain constantly. I am on 40 mg of Celexa and taking between 4 -6 darvocet N and vicodin ES, which I am almost out of and afraid to ask for more. My GI yells at me when he sees me because he can see no cause for the pain. I have been through 4 GI's in the last two years. I had a really good one, but lost him when I got a new job and new insurance coverage.
I have two kids 3 and 7 and my husband works a part time job paying $7/hour, so he is not much help with the bills. Also, I feel like my husband is mad at me for being ill, although he says he's just mad that he can't fix me.
I feel like crying all the time. With the pain, I feel hopeless and really don't know how to push through the days.
As the symptoms of our illness are not necessarily visible to others, I feel like I'm letting my co-workers and boss down and that they think this is all in my head.
Additionally, my last CT showed ovarian cysts, leoleimos and a hernia, in addition to the thickening around my colon.
I'm almost to the end of rope and would appreciate any help anyone can give.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 10/8/2008 12:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Many of us with this disease have to take anti-depressants. I don't, but I do see a therapist and take Xanax when the anxiety gets to be too much. This is an ugly disease with alot of ugly symptoms. While we look okay on the outside, we feel like crap on the inside.

I really suggest you get in to see a therapist. At least you have an advocate who will listen to you and help you to deal with this DD. Also, your GI should not be yelling at you. Something must be going on if you have thickening in the colon. As much as I hate to say it, maybe its time to look for another GI. Someone who has a little more compassion.

As for the pain meds, do you have a family doctor? That is who I get my pain meds from. Or you might ask for a referral to a pain mgmt doctor.

I am sorry you are suffering so. Good luck!
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 511
   Posted 10/8/2008 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   

I'm so sorry your suffering.  This disease is ugly and people who don't have it just don't understand. 

I take Wellbutrin for my depression.  I recongize when I need to be on it so I just tell my GI doc and he gives it to me.  But I also see a therapist when things are real bad. She has helped me so much that I don't think I would be here today if it wasn't for her.  I have a 2 1/2 year old son so I know how you feel and understand what your going through.  Hang in there!

Living with Crohn's Disease since Jan./2000 but had a few years prior
I'm a true Crohnie with IBS and Arthrities too
Meds I have tried:  Too many to list- LOL
Meds currently on:  Prednisone-  I am off of it!!   YAAHH!!! :-)   
                           Methotrexate injections once a week 25mg
                           Folic Acid 5mg every day
                           Wellbutrin twice a day
No Surgeries

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4527
   Posted 10/8/2008 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi I am hoping the Humira will eventually kick in. Sorry you don't feel you have much support right now. So what are they saying about the cysts and other things they found on your CT?I think the others are right about you needing someone to talk to maybe once you get some of these medical problems straitened out things will improve. lol gail
Hallarious woman over 50 ,CD ,IBS 27 years--resection,fistula's,obstructions,and still gail

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 497
   Posted 10/8/2008 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   


This is a depressing disease.  I was taking Celexa but it was not helping me, so I switched back to the Fluoxetine. 

I also take Xanax as needed for my anxiety.

Ovarian cysts, along with everything else that showed up, would cause significant pain, I would think.  It is not right you were yelled at for having pain.  Maybe it is time to try to find a new GI, unfortunately...

I have also been told that this disease is "all in my head" and that "I look too good to be sick."  Like Nanners said, we may not look like we are suffering, but we really are.  While I would never wish this disease on anyone, sometimes I wish others, who don't even try to understand, could spend a day in my shoes and know what it is like. 

I sincerely hope the Humira works soon for you!  Take care and please keep us posted!

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 246
   Posted 10/8/2008 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   
i know how you feel,i feel that my boyfriend doesnt have a clue how it feels to be sick,and i forgot how hard it is when you dont look sick on the outside people think your making things up,i also think you shld kick that GI's sorry assss to the curb! seems like he forgot hes meant to be treating you not giving you b/s.i also find it hard that my 2 friends who have crohns arent as sick with as i am,like its a different disease for them.yes 2 of my friends have crohns i think that its sad this disease is so common.
dx 17 aug 2007
21 yrs old
13 dec 2007 resection/temp illeostomy 14 feb 2008 temp illeostomy reversed 
150mg azamun
3000mg pentasa

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/9/2008 12:40 AM (GMT -7)   

Coping with a chronic disease is not easy, and no one can really understand what we go through everyday, because as you said, most of us look completely healthy on the outside....  I have two daughters 8 and 12, and believe me some days are so hard to cope and do the daily stuff I have to do.  Therefore when I'm feeling good, I tend to do more things around the house and at work, I never leave things to be done the next day, because I don't knowhow I will be the next day.  All this vicious cycle brings alot of depression. 

I hate taking anti-depressants, I try to meditate and take care of myself, and when needed give myself some time to relax.  Of course I'm under a lot of stress, because like you, I really need my job, but I also like working, so I hate myself sometimes for not being able to do as much things as I want.

What I wanted to say in general, is that I cannot offer you a lot of help, but please know you are not alone, we are all trying to cope everyday....




Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 320
   Posted 10/9/2008 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
I would think it were tiem to have a long talk with your GI! Mine kept telling me I didn't have inflammation everytime he did blood work. He finally did a sbft and found out I have deep inflammation that does NOT register in blood. Now he believes me. This is negligence on his part. Try telling him you want a sbft(small bowel follow through) done. I have had this for 30 yrs. I know when I'm flaring. Now my dr will re-think doubting me agaiN!
150mg Azathioprine, Lomotil, Iron, Nexium 2/day, Fentanyl patch, Oxycodone, Baclofin
Crohn's, Fibromyalgia, Several bulging discs, Bone spurs, Osteoarthritis, Osteopenia, Reflux, Stenosis, Strictures, Dengenerating facet joints
2 resections
When I am weak, then am I strong

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1115
   Posted 10/9/2008 11:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I felt very hopeless and scared for awhile..I was afraid I could not be able to hold a job or advance my career..Have a normal relationship to my husband because all I wanted to do after trying to work was lay around..I felt like I had no control over my own body and where I was headed..The medication most of the time made me feel worse..I could not eat..It affects so many other areas of your body not just your intestines..This board hepled alot with all the drugs and not being able to eat at that time..My son was diagnosed with CD at 18..My 17 year old son now holds the DX of irritable bowel syndrome..I did not progress to a full blown CD case till I was 34..The most important thing I would like to say is your not alone in your journey..try to stay connected to a support system who are on the same journey..My husband's speeches of mind over matter and sucking it up ect was especially not helpful!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 10/9/2008 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I just wanted to stop by and give (((HUGS))). I know this is tough. I am on Humira and it is working well for me. Not all the shots hurt as bad. I have had some completely pain free ones.

Also, think about therapy, it sure is helping me.


Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 Started Humira June 2008 (have been on other cd meds)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 on Soma and Lyrica

Diagnosed w/ General Anxiety Disorder in 2005- Effexor and Clonazepam 


Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 10/9/2008 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry you're going through this...I can definitely understand the depression. I have wanted to kill myself so many times but have to remind myself that things will get better. I believe they always do. Coping though...I usually will do whatever I can to relax even just a small amount like reading, listening to music, or taking really long showers and indulging in whatever I can actually eat. I don't have any children of my own, but my only source of income all summer was caring for my two younger sisters(it seems I've been taking care of quite a few children for at least eight hours a day since I was ten..), and I was going through horrible flares and admitted to the hospital quite a few times--ended up watching them there as well. They really made things better by being there though. As stressful as it is to worry about watching them their presence was therapeutic.
My fiance was working as well, but it always seemed like we fell short of the money we needed. I've found you always make it through somehow though in spite of how low things can get.

Also, don't ever feel like you're letting anyone sounds like you're working as hard as you can and that's all anyone can or should reasonably ask of you.

As for the humira, I was told it would take at least three months to enter your system so just keep with it!! I know you can get through this!!

Again, I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this. Just stay strong like it sounds you have been and know there will always be support here for you!!
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 10/11/2008 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I am right there with you.  I was diagnosed in May 08 with Crohns.  I was admitted to the hospital Sept 14 and was in for 8 days.  I missed my 10 year wedding anniversary.  I got out of the hospital and there were days I didn't want to get out of bed.  My husband is in the car business and works a lot of hours.  I have four kids 11,8,4 and 2 and I work 3 days a week.  I am afraid to leave my house because I will feel bad or not be close enough to a bathroom.  every morning I wake up scared that the pain is going to be too intense for me to handle and I will end up in the hospital again.  I am taking Zoloft, but its still hard.  Its hard to get out of bed and do anything when I feel so bad.  I wish I had an answer for you - I think all I can do is let you know you are not alone.  Hang in there.  I hope things get better for you.

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/11/2008 3:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I am right there with you too. You can only laugh with your friends or family for so long about joking how you can't go anywhere without a toilet. It's not funny anymore. I know the instant I eat something when I'm going to be sick, I swear the food doesn't even stay in my body for 15 mintues it's unreal. People who don't have the disease don't believe we are really sick I once told a client of mine that I had crohns disease and she said "well you don't carry yourself like that" Like what? I don't think that we should put our lives on hold. I want to accomplish as much as I can in one day and if I get sick I get sick. I hope that anyone around me understands, if they don't sorry. I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling depressed, somedays it's too tough to get out of bed. Just stay strong!!! Things will get better!!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 10/11/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel for you, Cponsart. We've all been where you are now, believe me. It comes with the territory.
You can avoid stress, or you can learn how to cope with it. I don't recommend you try to avoid stresses you think you won't cope with, or will make you ill - I've done that, and it's a pretty darn solitary existence. Bad enough having a ravenous illness that tears great holes in your life, but doing it without loved ones to give you glimmers of thanks. shakehead
Learning how to cope - well, that is very much about little logistical tricks (knowing where the public toilets are, telling form your symptoms how much you will manage that day) but in the end, time is what generally makes the difference. Even the worst of days can end up feeling humdrum at least some of the time, when it is repeated often enough; and as you get habituated, coping does get easier. Half of coping, I am quite sure, is learning how much is not your responsibility, or anyone else's, but just the situation. You feel like you are letting down your coworkers ? No, it is the illness. nono You didn't choose this, so its effects are not your responsibility. What your husband says about being mad at not being able to fix things for you - that has the ring of truth. Men do love to come up with a practical solution to everything - warm, fuzzy feeling moments of empathetic hugging don't really hang out on the X chromosome ! wink
There is an ancient Sanskrit poem I carry about with me every day, to help me keep perspective, not borrow trouble from the future, and remind me that even tiny victories have a way of building up over time:

Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life
In its brief course lie all
The realities and truths
Of existence
The joy of growth
The splendour of action
The glory of power

For yesterday is
But a memory
And tomorrow is
Only a vision
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday
A memory of happiness
And every tomorrow
A vision of hope
Look well, therefore,
To this day !

Last but not least, don't forget that when your gut is damaged, so is your body's ability to manufacture neurotransmitters like serotonin - so depression is often an intrinsic part of a flare-up. It's not "just in your mind", it's hidden in your gut ! In my case, once I found the right one, I found antidepressants an absolute God-send, as they help improve my mood and settle my gut a bit. With a bit of luck, you may find the same.
Hope some of this helps - but don't forget, we are here to listen if you need to vent. We know how you feel. yeah ((Hugs))

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/12/2008 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi! I am new to this site but after reading your message, felt it was worth adding my own experiences in the hope it will provide you with a little support and hope.
I have been battling CD for close to 20 years now. I was diagnosed whilst trying to complete my studies in high school.
I have been lucky enough to continue full-time work now for around 12 years now but I believe everyday is a struggle!
No one can understand what we deal with on a day to day basis.
Besides our daily medication we are on, we have to deal with constant worry about symptoms. It stops me from doing a lot of things I would like to do. I am not very social at all and I am a real home body. I think this is because it is the only place I feel truly safe and secure and don't have to worry about symptoms of the disease.
I was very young when I was diagnosed and didn't really understand the implications of the disease.
I still try to keep as positive as I can but I have my bad days.
I find my moods can fluctuate quite a bit and there are days I am just angry with the world.
But then I always remind myself of the positive things around me and what I should be thankful for.
Yes I hope everyday that some whitecoat in a lab will stumble across a cure but until then I can only move forward and deal the best I can with the disease.
I would like to say that from the responses you have already received, you can see there are kind and supportive people out there that know what you are dealing with.
It is important to have the right people around you and that means family, friends, work colleagues and doctors.
Never feel afraid to speak up for yourself.
I have changed my doctors numerous times when I have not felt comfortable with them. It is your life not theirs!
Anyway I wish you all the best and hope things will improve for you very shortly.
We are all here tapping away at our computer keyboards supporting you. :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 10/12/2008 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
i understand what you are going through. I have been in non-stop pain for 2 years and it has changed my life. I am alone, and have no-one to really share this with. I work full time, and am in constant fear of losing my job because of an unexpected hospitalization. I just started humira a month ago, and had 2 pain free days, but then the pain came back. I have thought of ways to end my life if the humira does not help- I cannot do this for another 2 years. I am currently on antidepressants but they are not working. I am waiting for an appt to see my dr to change or increase the antidepressants. I will say a prayer for you- you are not alone.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 10/12/2008 8:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I had a GI similar to the one you have, he use to think it was my fault i was in pain. I got rid of the A hole and got a new one, it was the best thing i ever did. First off its not your fault you are sick, we are not made of stone, we can't control stress nobody can and we all know that's what triggers our attacks. Never think its your fault, get a new GI and i bet things will get better. There are always new meds and breakthroughs on this disease. I have a wife and 2 kids myself i know it can get too much for you sometimes, take some you time for yourself once in awhile believe me it does help. Take care dear i feel your pain...
Crohns for 13 years
1 surgery so far
2 times in hospital for blockages
B12 Injections

Post Edited (Erik45) : 10/12/2008 10:12:54 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/12/2008 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Bravo Erik!

Stats show that most adults will have at least six months of clinically significant depression when they are healthy. Imagine how much that stat goes up when one is not physically well. It quite common and normal to have happen with this disease. I do think you need to get a new GI, it took me seven to find one I half way liked. In the mean time please think about some sort of mental health care, not because you are "nuts" or anything like that. It is because this is a tough situation, and what can it hurt to have someone else advocating for you. If nothing else it is another person to vent to.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 10/12/2008 9:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Navy this about the best forums out there.. :)
Crohns for 13 years
1 surgery so far
2 times in hospital for blockages
B12 Injections

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