I feel for you, Cponsart. We've all been where you are now, believe me. It comes with the territory.
You can avoid stress, or you can learn how to cope with it. I don't recommend you try to avoid stresses you think you won't cope with, or will make you ill - I've done that, and it's a pretty darn solitary existence. Bad enough having a ravenous illness that tears great holes in your life, but doing it without loved ones to give you glimmers of joy...no thanks.
Learning how to cope - well, that is very much about
little logistical tricks (knowing where the public toilets are, telling form your symptoms how much you will manage that day) but in the end, time is what generally makes the difference. Even the worst of days can end up feeling humdrum at least some of the time, when it is repeated often enough; and as you get habituated, coping does get easier. Half of coping, I am quite sure, is learning how much is not your responsibility, or anyone else's, but just the situation. You feel like you are letting down your coworkers ? No, it is the illness.
You didn't choose this, so its effects are not your responsibility. What your husband says about
being mad at not being able to fix things for you - that has the ring of truth. Men do love to come up with a practical solution to everything - warm, fuzzy feeling moments of empathetic hugging don't really hang out on the X chromosome !
There is an ancient Sanskrit poem I carry about
with me every day, to help me keep perspective, not borrow trouble from the future, and remind me that even tiny victories have a way of building up over time:
Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life
In its brief course lie all
The realities and truths
The joy of growth
The splendour of action
The glory of power
For yesterday is
But a memory
And tomorrow is
Only a vision
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday
A memory of happiness
And every tomorrow
A vision of hope
Look well, therefore,
To this day !
Last but not least, don't forget that when your gut is damaged, so is your body's ability to manufacture neurotransmitters like serotonin - so depression is often an intrinsic part of a flare-up. It's not "just in your mind", it's hidden in your gut ! In my case, once I found the right one, I found antidepressants an absolute God-send, as they help improve my mood and settle my gut a bit. With a bit of luck, you may find the same.
Hope some of this helps - but don't forget, we are here to listen if you need to vent. We know how you feel.