This is nothing but a rant, I know:
I have been reading posts here for a while, but I have never posted myself.
It has been maybe, 7 years? since I was diagnosed. I am 31 now, and I still cannot believe it.
I am tired of the blinding pain upon waking up every other day. I am tired of trying to have some relationship with girls, yet dreading the notion of taking them out for a simple dinner.
I have been on many things. Prednisone (It made me nuts), something called MP-5, or 6, I do not remember, Asacol, and Endocort. Now I only take Colazal, about 9 pills a day.
I want to ask my doctor for painkillers, but I feel he will just see me as some ****junkie who is looking for some good drugs.
Yes, I am drunk right now. I know it will make things worse in the morning, but I no longer care. If I am going to suffer anyway, I might as well throw caution to the wind I figure.
No one I know has any understanding of what this is like. I try to hide it because I am embarrased. I am tired of saying "I ate at home" when I am with friends, yet very hungry.
Okay, I am done writing. Good night.