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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 11/28/2008 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Apologies in advance for the rant..
Anyway, in addition to living with my wonderful fiance, I live with my brother. It's nice to have someone else lending a hand in paying the bills, but beyond that there is no support or empathy. Not just for me but for ANYONE. As indicated in my signature, I tried having a child and almost died from it. Since then I have wanted a pet or anything to care for really badly. Saying this my brother, after being told the whole baby situation, suggested I try having a baby. I can't have any pets because he doesn't want any. I'm this close to getting one anyway...
Not long before that a conversation with he and my mother and fiance went as such:
Brother: Maybe the car is so messy because she is a girl (speaking of his car I used for the small amount of time I was able to drive and my fiance to get to work)
Mother: She's also been really sick you know..
Brother: Well, She looks fine to me.

He also dented our brand new car and all he could say was "well, call it even for my car." Which, by the way, only had some papers in the backseat and some books in the trunk. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you damage someone's car you usually fix it.

Of my sister he has said he doesn't care if she ends up nowhere in life. Of my dad, he just wants his money. And of my grandfather, well..we found out yesterday over dinner from my mother that my grandfather would go out and work in fast food if that's what it took to take care of his grandchildren should we ever be in need. He also said he would go out and knock on doors and front the money just to help my brother get his portrait plans off of the ground. Now, do you really think with his apathetic attitude towards every other person that he wouldn't take advantage of my grandfather's kindness?

Just this morning he came in the bedroom and took something of mine right in front of me without asking like it was perfectly okay. And before my boyfriend spoke to him, he invited his friends over to use my boyfriend's things. After being talked to he acted as if he had been wronged.

Now for my sister..a few years ago, in light of her extreme unhappiness, I persuaded my mother to let her live with my grandparents so that she might feel better and so that she would have a better chance at life since she would(and is) go the number one public school in the state as opposed to the backwater schools where we lived in the middle of nowhere. That being said, obviously my mother misses her terribly. So, my sister whines and makes her feel guilty and my mother drives the 5-6 hours in her gas-guzzling SUV(she is not well off with money either) to Ohio. What does my sister do when my mother gets there? She spends the entire time in her bedroom with her boyfriend. Or how about when they go shopping together? She runs off to look with her boyfriend while my mother shops alone. Except for when my sister needs to put the things she wants to buy in the basket my mother will continue to push around by herself. After my mother leaves my sister will call a few weeks later whining again "why don't you ever come and see me?"

Not only this, but my sister lives for this boy. And all they do together is smoke pot, drop acid, get drunk, and have sex. I don't have a problem with a few if practiced by responsible ADULTS, but my sister is sixteen and her boyfriend is nineteen. This boy constantly disrespects my family...the other day when they went out and got back VERY LATE, my grandmother had asked them if they had seen two movies instead of one. His answer? "Maybe."
If you take my sister out you better darn well be able to give a straight answer.
This is the boy she spends time with instead of my mother. This is the boy she plans her life around.
My sister came down to visit us for Thanksgiving and my mother wanted her to spend the night at her house instead of my apartment. All she could say was "I don't want to because your house is dirty. I don't want to sleep in [little sister's] bed because she's dirty. I hate your house."

And last, my grandmother cleans and cooks for my sister and her boyfriend. They don't help her and they don't say thank you. This happened after my SURGERY when they stayed at my apartment as well. They left their mess while my boyfriend working 40-60 hours a week and I cleaned up even after we asked them not to leave a mess.

In short, my brother and sister have no problem taking advantage of people, they are completely apathetic to the plight of others, and I'm fed up with being so stressed out over their behavior and how they treat my family.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 11/28/2008 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, family is hard. Sounds as though you've all become a bit like seeds in the wind. Each going their own way. Still, I'd say get the pet or work toward getting your own place 'cause being at your brothers' is going to ruin whatever your relationship is. Take some deep breaths about your family. Family is NEVER easy. And when it is, I envy those people myself but I also wonder how close those easy relationships in family actually are. Good luck and hope you're well.
27/f/CD. 4 CD related surgeries: 2 resections, 2 JP drains, 3 NG tubes, many absesses (including the one my most recent surgery scraped off my ovary) and fistulas.
Currently trying to figure out hip and knee joint pain.
Have lost in these surgeries: appendix, 8 in. intestine, R fallopian tube, gallbladder, 10 in. intestine
Dx'd: February 2007.
Pentasa (and much mental screaming)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1354
   Posted 11/28/2008 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   
((LMills)), whenever I read a post you have replied to I often think how wise, supportive and grown up you are for a 20 year old, it seems you got your siblings share of these traits eh!
Your mother and grandparents sound like wonderful people and thats what is upsetting to you when you feel they are being treated poorly.
Hopefully oneday your siblings will mature and see that how they treat others is a reflection of who they are.
And you can hold your head up as a brave, intelligent and wise young woman, oh and you go and get yourself that pet (I would get a puppy myself) its you that will be caring for it - not your brother.
Take care

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 11/28/2008 3:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both so much...It's nice just to hear that someone agrees, and I really needed the kind of words you had to give. Much love to you!!!
My brother is actually staying here after my fiance and I had lived here for a few months. And we gave him the room with the private bathroom. Mine is right where the living room and kitchen are hah. I am demanding the private bathroom next time!
It's just so easy to be walked over by family I think.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Currently taking:
Prednisone(down to 10 mg), pentasa, bentyl as needed, prilosec, tandem plus, humira, and good probiotics
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.

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