Gail, I'm with you , too. You have been a support to me. I think its common to believe that if you do everything "right" you can somehow beat the disease. And this is the "bummer" thought--Many times we "blame" ourselves when we have problems, because we are somehow doing the "wrong" thing. Does this make any sense? I sure don't understand the ins and outs of all this mess, just take care of yourself!!!