Hello, I just turned 36, I have had Crohn;s for about 10 years.. I was doing pretty well, Remicade every 6 weeks. Entacort daily.. I usually have about 4 good weeks at a time. Then I get sick about the 5th week through the 6th week. Until the remicade kicks in.. I always considered myself lucky. ( I still have all my body parts).
Then about 2 years ago I got Rhumatoid Arthritis And it runs the same as my Crohn's 4 good weeks unless I do something stupid or repetitive. The arthritis it hit me HARD, You know when your hands are twisted and disfigured and even just a breeze of air can set off pain the I never thought possible (not limited to my hands by the way, it jumps from one joint to another randomly) it was like the final straw when you have to run to the bathroom up words of 20 time a day sometime. THEN you cant pull down you own pants, or walk to the bathroom because its in you knee or you ankle. It was just that FINAL humiliation.. I have had to try and separate my kids from this. Its not fair to lean on my 16 year old girl so much..
I have been on 1 date in almost 3 years. I am so lonely some time I feel like my heart aches more than any other pain I could ever feel. But I just don't know how to try..
How can I possibly ask someone to want me or love me. When All I have to offer is a few good weeks a month. I just don't feel like I have the right... Does anyone else feel this way? Is it possible to dye from loneliness. Cuz there have been days where I thought it could kill me