Posted 3/3/2009 1:04 PM (GMT -7)
No no believe me, he is not the one to go out and party. He likes to visit his friends or stay in and play video games, watch movies, study, read, etc. much like myself.
He lasted about 10 hours on the break. I told him to go out and talk to people and see what it's like as if I weren't a factor. But he said everything reminded him of me and that he didn't want to let it go. He had been talking to a girl from work as friends for a while, but she hinted she liked him so he went to a get-together another one of his coworkers was having. She was there too obviously. One of the reasons I think he went...to talk to her and see if that was what he really wanted.
He said she heard that day we were on a break so she talked to him for a while and said she had liked him for a long time.
His response though? 'You can't do that. I know I'm on a break with her, but I love her.'
He admitted he had thought about her in a more than just friends way during the past couple of weeks, that he didn't pursue anything, and that he really wanted to keep trying with me 100%. Said he wanted to try the single life out again but didn't want it. I'm just glad he listened to me and at least approached someone. I figure, if he liked someone else enough to leave me then maybe our relationship wasn't strong enough right now anyway and that this kind of space would do him some good. Goodness knows my behavior weakened it. He can't live the rest of his life limited to going to the grocery store for me, work, and school. He talked to his mom and she said 'It's not that I don't like her but I think she's holding you back.'
Why it's wrong and I don't say these with any spite toward him. I was just glad to have someone to take care of..: I pay/have payed his car bills, insurance bills, rent when I didn't even live with him, and payed for groceries(up to 300 dollars worth sometimes). Not all the time but when he was short on work hours and money. Now where was she then? Where would he have been had I not helped him? And normally it takes some pushing but I am the one who gets him to do his homework, try harder, and constantly push him to be his best because he is so smart and has so much potential. And yet I am holding him back.
Why part of it is right though...because he has to take care of me and could be out living life more...staying home with a sick girlfriend for a whole year can't have been productive...he might have done more. But he's told me that had we not been together he probably would have dropped out of college for a while and gone to live down in Georgia with his mom because he had no other means to support himself(he moved here from Missouri and paid for EVERYTHING by himself until I came along).
I am glad I have to admit..a lot of the bad things were my fault. I was so afraid of having trouble going out that I stayed in and did nothing but homework, eat, and sleep. What a miserable life...I told myself when I started getting better that I would not do that. That's the lifestyle I have during a flare, but not when I can try harder when things are starting to get better.
I guess we'll see how everything goes...We've been through a lot so I can't just throw it away because of a few *very* rough patches. We agreed to make individual changes, work harder at living more, and doing some things apart.
Thank you all for your responses...I'm really grateful to receive your input. The truth is I love him more than anything, and I have faith we'll be together for a long time. Even if we have a break every now and then...I feel like even I started going out with someone else I would always come back to him.
20 years old, Diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohn's and Colitis in May of 2008.
Prednisone 5 mg, pentasa 2 pills 4x a day, bentyl as needed, omeprazole in the morning, prenatal multivitamin, humira every other week, and good probiotics.
Surgery for ectopic pregnancy most likely the result of severe Crohn's inflammation in July of 2008.
Attempting a diet without refined sugars, high fat content, bleached or bromated flour, most dairy, red meat, and avoiding anything spicy like the plague. Also refuse to eat anything with trans fat or high fructose/corn syrup.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."