I am pretty new around here but I totally feel your pain - both with the crohns and the depression. I have to seriously encourage you to go to see you general doctor or GI and tell them what you are feeling. And don't sugar coat it either. They need to know exactly what is going on. Depression and anxiety are common with long term illness. I suffer as well (well I "suffer" anymore as I am on a cocktail of crazy pills). When people ask me about it I try to explain it like this. A person can only handle so much stress. Image that you have a stress cup in your head. Everytime you have stress you put a little bit more liquid in that cup. Eventually that cup will overflow. Long term illness means that your cup is always somewhat full so even the smallest thing can put you over the edge. Most people seem to get that analogy.
As for the surgery question...I elected to have my first surgery when I was in college. I had been very sick for about 8 years and on pred. most of that time. I got sick of being sick. It ended up that when they got in there for what they thought would be a standard operation, I had a massive absest (imagine a softball) in my gut. Apparently, I had been perforated for sometime and didn't even know it. It was amazing how much better I felt. I went from barely finishing 15 credit hours to flying through 23 credit hours, working 2 jobs, and still having fun.
My second surgery was emergency surgery as I perfed mid-colonoscopy. That one was not so fun. But very necessary.
Please please please seek some guidance from a professional. Once I was over my initial anxiety, I got the book "The feeling good book" by Dr. David Burns. I have read it probably 6 times now. It spoke to me and gave me a different perspective on things.
Good Luck. You will be in my thoughts.
Crohn's Disease - 29 years
Diagnosed at age 10 in 1979
1st ileosecal resection 1989
2nd colon resection 1993
Chronic "D" and arthritis
Chronic rectal stricture with colonoscopy every 3 months to dialate
Insomnia since 1980 - I love my ambien!
SCUBA diver, Master's degree student, college graduate, Pet therapist