Yep, that's "flattening of affect" in shrink speak, Val. (Goes with emotional lability - no emotion, then sudden unwarranted mood swings.) Together with all the fatigue and changes in attitude, I'd say you were a shoe-in for a diagnosis of depression. It comes to some degree with most people who are in a flare, but you know when you are losing weight and nutrients the way you obviously have been....given that half your body's neurotransmitters are in your gut, and are so intimately linked with Vitamin B12 deficiency and the likes, it is not so surprising that you are suffering this way.
My policy in the past has been to take antidepressants. Different ones worked with differing levels of efficiency. I no longer think of depression as an on/off thing; I think more of behaviour
s (sleep, irritability, concentration, energy) in different scenarios, and is modification to that behaviour
being altered due to depression or antidepressants.
What I found was that both ticked certain boxes at certain dosages, and a good antidepressant (as Prozac was for me) left most of the behaviour
s pretty well as they should be, or if anything improved. (I'm more assertive after having been on Prozac - definitely the medication.) Depression ends up ticking pretty well all the boxes if left untreated, and that is a process I'd say you are well along on. Finding the right antidepressant really was a huge improvement for me, and even helped to calm my gut, so here's hoping it can make the same difference for you. The side effects tick boxes too though, that's the fly in the ointment.
These days, I take B12 supplements, which definitely help my fatigue, plus Vitamin B5 which is supposed to help "nourish" my adrenal glands. Don't know about
that, but I certainly feel less jittery and stressed-out with the old overwhelemed "running up a hill" feeling even when sitting down.
Some of what this disease does is bad (most of it) but some of it can be good too. I for one have learned to take a step back emotionally from things - bad in relationships (
whatever they are, I've forgotten ) but it can be a really big advantage at work, particularly when everyone else is getting wound up and losing their cool. That is something I learned as adaptive behaviour
from being stressed out over being chronically ill; I would guess you are doing the same thing, like most folk I suppose. But when it gets to being totally indifferent - yep, that's an urgent problem.
Keep us posted how you are getting on, this is a leaky boat where daft though it sounds, it helps to know there are other passengers...
It's good to talk, ain't it folks !