OMG I'd die if a doctor told me such things
Honestly, I think you need to get second opinion(s). Doctors should opt for surgery only as a last resort, when there's really no other option, when the person's about
to die if he or she doesn't have the surgery...or you have fistulas that are going towards your bladder or stuff like that.
But I mean, why did he tell you this? Is your whole colon under inflammation? Or is your anal canal in danger? Can you lead a normal life or are you constantly in the hospital, can't walk because you're too exhausted? What about
your weight? And is your colon leaking? Does your anus look so bad that you have to get it out to avoid other problems?
I mean, if your anal canal is ok, they could just get out the rest of the colon if they have to and put your small intestine on your anal canal that you don't have to get an ileostomy. If he's mentioning colostomy, that means they wouldn't get out all your whole colon but just a bigger part of it, but if they can leave you with a part of colon then they could just take out the stuff in between the ascending colon and the anal canal...and then again you wouldn't have to get a stoma, right?
You need to tell your doctor to stop treating you like a kid and tell you things like "You need to take my head out of the sand and you shouldn't be so vain about
having a colostomy." That's very unfair of him because it's a normal thing to go home, to process the information and make a decision. In the end, it's not his decision, it's yours and his decision, the one you make together. It's stupid of him to say that you're vain if you don't want a colostomy. I don't remember that ever being qualified as being vain. It's a huge difference in life, esp if you're young. It changes your whole world, and you have to face with the fact that people you want to get involved with might turn you down cuz of the colostomy. And getting a stoma can even mean not to be able to have an orgasm anymore if they cut the nerves they aren't supposed to...it's not vain to think about
all of these things.
Why not get you a temporary stoma? Why is it that you can't ask him questions like that. Instead of him saying stupid things you could've had a very informative talk about
all the different solutions out there.
One question, is he a gastroenterologist or a surgeon? Because surgeons tend to have a thing for cutting people
Trust yourself! At least you'll know it was your decision. It's worse to blame yourself for not being smart enough to trust your instinct, than to blame yourself for making the wrong decision...that's how I feel. Do the best you can to read your medical history to make sure what your progress was during all of this time, make sure you've tried all of the available medicines and just learn all you can about
colon and it's function and about
the difference between ileostomy and colostomy and stand up for yourself!
If you can, read the ECCO consensus just to get a different picture from a different continent...maybe you'll find interesting different ways of dealing with your problem. I'd fight with every part of me to not to get a stoma if I didn't have to...