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here.............. have a giggle at these.

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Crohn's Disease
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gemini kiwi
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2006
Posts : 1136
Posted 5/13/2009 7:53 PM (GMT -7)

Actual entries in an Mpumalanga hospital register:-

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 Kg weight gain in the past three days.

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She al so appears to be depressed.

9.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

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justjenjen
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2003
Posts : 518
Posted 5/13/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)
Thanks! Too funny!
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FallColors
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2007
Posts : 1220
Posted 5/14/2009 3:34 AM (GMT -7)
Hilarious!
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Kriss
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2005
Posts : 357
Posted 5/14/2009 6:29 AM (GMT -7)
strange...
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Nanners
Elite Member
Joined : Apr 2005
Posts : 14999
Posted 5/14/2009 6:37 AM (GMT -7)
I thought that was hilarious. I love the rectal exam revealed a normal sized thyroid!!
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karendee
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 1642
Posted 5/14/2009 6:56 AM (GMT -7)
Very funny. Also kind of scary how messed up our charts can be from bad grammer and spelling!! Karen
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yellowfin43
Regular Member
Joined : Aug 2008
Posts : 305
Posted 5/14/2009 7:26 AM (GMT -7)
I'm pretty sure that's my chart.
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