Need a friend going through some tough times

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 6/24/2009 2:02 PM (GMT -7)   
It's been a while since I have been on site so many bad things have happened I think my husband is about to leave me again because everything medically is going wrong 3 failed back surgery last one nicked colon sent home long story 24 rushed back abscess busted MRSA VRE STAFF many different staff sister says since I am in pain management and on MS i must be a drug addict she is my older sister I always looked up to her she hasn't talked to me in about 6 months maybe longer had a seizure in Nov grand mal never had one before now they say from giving up my life to help my mother and stay with her I promised my father I would take care of her and never put her in a home or leave her when I married my 2nd husband he was ofered a job in Norfolk he was getting out of Navy he gave it up because she wouldn't move I made a promise my father died the next day after I promised like he knew Look I have somuch to say and have had a rotten day if you would like to be a friend and pen pal and help me get through a rough patch please replyThanks for listening I hope this make sense since the seizure I haven't be able to do things right all the time it's like my brain short circuits      shakehead  
      "Life is a journey, not a destination"
      "You don't get to choose how your're going to die or when.
    You can only decide how you're going to live."
"Joan Baez"

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 947
   Posted 6/24/2009 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm really sorry to hear all of your downfalls, I promised my father before he died that I would take care of my mother too. She lives in her own apartment and still works on the weekends and is doing terrific. If she needs something, she just calls and asks me. I thought that marrriage was until death do us part? My wife has been by my side through all of my Crohns problems and surgery too. She never complains.
I wish you all of the best.
Diagnosed with Crohns in 2001
First and hopefully last Ileocecectomy 2/18/2009

Medications: Asacol, Precription Folic Acid, Multivitamin, 1000mg Calcium, Vitamin D, Probiotics,  Monthly B-12 injections.

Living a Great life with my Wife and my two Chocolate Labs
Hunter & Hailey.
I love them dearly.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 457
   Posted 6/24/2009 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
You are a very dedicated daughter. I wish you the very best.
Dx'd with Crohns 1984 and polycystic kidney disease in 1996
Bowel Resection surgery 2006, Now on Asacol, folic acid, and Enalapril, Have been flaring on and off since August.
I love my life and everyday I pray that my body cooporates and allows me to do what I have planned.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 6/25/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes making promises just mean you will keep them to the best of your ability. Circumstances change and that may change your ability to keep your promise. My grandmother had to go into a Home and her daughters, including my mother did the best they could as long as they could. You can still care for and visit everyday that you are able! There are many good places filled with many happy people! I know, I used to work in one and I now visit one. Just try to love on your husband, it isn't easy being the supportive spouse that he needs to be, but a little love, hug, kind words go a long way. It is mostly the attitude that we have through our illness that makes the difference in others toward us. I bet he loves you and doesn't want to leave! don't let guilt for being sick destroy you! That is false guilt and is just wasted energy. It's not your fault. Hang in there, and I will say lift you and your husband up in prayer!
Diagnosed with CD 3 years ago.  Refused to take meds until recently started Colazal. 
I live by faith and not by sight....

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 1671
   Posted 6/27/2009 10:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Doesn't it seem like when it rains it pours? My life has been beyond stressful for so long and I know that's why I'm flaring now. I don't always get on the computer every day because my kids monopolize it, but I will try to be there for you. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to talk to and unload. I will pray for you, and really hope that things improve soon. Hang in there, and try to take it day by day. You can only do what you can do, and since stress can be such a big problem for a lot of us, you have to look out for yourself first.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3763
   Posted 6/27/2009 11:02 AM (GMT -7)   
I think "caring for" means doing the best you can. As a parent myself, I don't think any parent would want their child to sacrifice their health and happiness for them. I am sure if your father knew what you are going through he would want you to do what you can to help your mother while taking care of yourself too. Keep in mind that you are of no use to your mother if you are sick. You need to take care of you first, and that includes your mental health and happiness. Please take a few moments to really think about what your father would really want. I'm sure he wouldn't want this pain for you!


CD 20 years officially, 30 unofficially. 3 resections '93, '95 '97
Managing with strict low residue diet, keeping symptoms to a minimum. All test show small amount of ulceration, still have occasional blockages. But still have a great time with my 2 daughters and husband!

Prednisone, 6MP,Prevacid, B12 shots, Bentyl, Xifaxan.....

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