Hi Frogelita, I just want you to know I understand how horrible it all is. When I had my tube drain inserted it was the result of the seton not working properly, there was excess sepsis, so I was intense pain, and the pain went on for months. My seton recovery was not as everyone says (10 days) – it was months before I was anywhere near pain free. I remember when my ‘tube’ was 1st put in, I couldn’t bear the thought of it being there, and just wanted to know when it was coming out!! But it will do its job, its just taking its darn time, which is frustrating as all hell, I know ….. I was working while this all happened, at a new job and so anxious to make a good impression…. But trust me, this is just a moment in time and things will get better before you know it, the pain will get better, we just take so long to heal down there.
One thing I did notice and which rings a bell with your story is the pain meds. I finally got some decent, prescription meds, and straight after I took them I’d feel great, but the next day if I didn’t take them I’d have a ‘come down’ and be so weepy and depressed and – as you said – even suicidal. It was scary. I decided in my case to stop taking the pain meds because the way they were affecting my mental condition was too scary for words. My uncle died of suicide and I have been depressed in the past and I could tell they were affecting me.
I know how awkward the stitches are and how frustrating it is to have this foreign thing in your butt, poking you, draining, hurting, not letting you sit properly….. Its awful. Just try to think that it will help the abscess to heal and it is well worth it in the end. Please believe me. My tube drain has been in for nearly 3 months now and will come out when I have my 1st remicade infusion. I have become quite used to it being there now (even though I try to avoid looking at it because I get depressed, there’s an ever-expanding fistula hole there too and it scares me). The stitches didn’t take very long to dissolve (just a couple of weeks) and once they’re gone it’s a lot more comfortable because it doesn’t ‘pull’ your poor skin so badly, but still manages to stay in place.