Ok I have to admit sometimes I get tired of people complaining about being sick from things they brought on themselves. What I mean by this they just felt like it was ok to smoke, drink, and do drugs to the point that they ruined their health or got in a car crash. I try to be patience and compassionate in that I know this is a poor coping mechism. I have to admit from the outside I must look like volenteered to not be healthy, because I am fat. Part of this is because my family is all lean and tall, and evidently blame me for not having the strength of charater to defeat my illness, let alone have the weakness for being fat. But none of my living family have ever been really ill and none of them have ever had the amount of surgeries that I have.
The last couple of days have been pretty bad. Like not being able to get from the bed to the toliet (3 steps away if I do a sprint twirl) in time. Plus in so much pain it was all I could do to just breathe and sleep. Mainly just laying there in pain, but I have had 2 ER trips, and the last one helped enough so I am not passing out from the pain, but I am kinda wondering how am I going to feel when it wears off.
For someone who is trying to get an MFT PhD I am getting really pissed off with my family. I realize that I must stop drinking the poison of being mad at them (because I want to have a relationship with my niece, and the bun in the oven), but I have to admit it is difficult.
If I was healthy I would not care, because I would not be vernerable to them.
I really do think sometimes being so sick and in pain is a bit like losing your mind. Because it exastribates your vernerablities so much...
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…