Do your friends vanish after you tell them you have CD?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 348
   Posted 10/12/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
People around me seem to vanish after I tell them something is wrong with me. When I tell normal people about CD, they get scared. When I was in the hospital, the mom of a patient with CD was scared/shocked when I was telling the doctors that I had blood in my BMs. Her son had it worse, too. He averaged a flare a year.
27m - Dx January 2005: UC/Crohn's
Entocort 9 mg, Asacol 4 x 3, Flagyl 500mg x 3

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 506
   Posted 10/12/2009 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish I only had one flare per year. Most people I'm guessing don't even know what it is, but most have a little sympathy for me when I tell them what the disease does.
Diagnosed with CD July 2007
Currently on Remicade, Imuran, probiotics, folic acid, multivitamin.

Amor fati - Nietzsche

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/13/2009 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Its like if its not cancer, people dont understand or sympathize. People suck. I've lost friends too.... People suck.
dx w/CD finally in July 2009, currently taking pentasa, entocort, cipro, flagyl, probiotics, celexa, bentyl, biofeedback.
"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change" Charles Darwin

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 221
   Posted 10/13/2009 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I've lost friends as well. Or if they do stick around they never mention it and I cant talk to them about it. Sometimes you just want to talk to someone and your friends arent there. They think its contageous or something. I know exactly what you mean.
Diagnosed with Crohns Oct. '07.  Have had 9 abcess/ fistula surgeries.  Colostomy 20 March 2009.
Current Meds:
Imuran 200 mg                            Omeprazole 20mg                     Vitamin D 2000 i.u.          Remicade 10mg x8wks
Synthroid 112mg                          Lexapro 20mg                           Tylenol  50mg
Birth Control                                 Calcium  500mg                         Morphine 40mg
Sucralfate 1gm x4                         Multi Vit                                     Cyclizine   50mg

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1118
   Posted 10/13/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi i have been really lucky with friends for support also workmates who i thought wouldn't be interested  in what was going on with me, this past year they all rallied round and gave me a voucher for a spa day!! as well as looking out for me at work. As for my personal friends who know everything are brilliant, really supportive and nothing fazes them. i don't know what i'd do without them. Bev x  

Diagnosed with crohn's at 13 now 42
resection, right hemi 1993 In remmision from 93 till last sept with no meds or docs
2 resections small bowel  and fistula jan 09 and given temp stoma.  reversal sheduled for Nov09 Meds:Pentasa 500mg 3x day,  B12 shots, every 3 months, iron syrup,loperimide,folic acid, Back on citalopram 40mg (for Anxiety.)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 10/13/2009 10:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I have lost a lot of friends after becoming sick. I used to be the 'trophy' friend of sorts, pretty and popular, smart and engaging (still all of those except popular!), but making people uncomfortable is just something we do. The upside is that it shows us who our real friends are. It's depressing at first to be able to count the number of true friends on one hand, but who wants to be surrounded by a large group of people who never cared about you in the first place?
Right now I have my fiance, a friend on the other side of the country, two a few hours from here, and lately a friend of my brother's who helped me through my latest procedure. That is what I've gotten up to in the past year and a half. I get depressed sometimes, but it makes me realize how much I love them.
Diagnosed with Crohn's in May of 2008.
Currently taking: Prednisone, pentasa, omeprazole, and humira. Using probiotics and a multivitamin.
Learning how to live again.
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/13/2009 10:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I think there is a factor of wearing people out. Sometime people just have so much crap going in their own lives and so there is a bit of burn out.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/13/2009 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I would agree with MMMNAVY, I have been quite calm, cool, and relaxed with having Crohn's which I have found relaxes those around me. Even after my 2 week hospital stint, I found that the less of an alarmist I was and humorous about the disease, the better my friends and people around me feel. I am a full time grad student and have registered with disability services and have a formal letter to give to my profs and work. I promise it will get better if we are aware of how we respond to the disease!

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 269
   Posted 10/13/2009 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I consider myself lucky. I have lots of good friends , most Ive have been friends with for more than 10 years. Generally they are very supportive and come to see me at home when I am unwell and will ring me regualrly. I see them less when im in flare obviously because I cant cope with going out. However, I try to make up for it when Im am ok. For those who go out of their way for me I do the same back when they need me. I try to laugh about my illness & not moan too much. I dont want friends to get fed up of illness talk.
Diagnosed 2005.  41 year old female living in UK
Current medication  -  infliximab infusions, ranitidine, ferrous sulphate, Vitamin B12 injections.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 348
   Posted 10/13/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
It looks like anyone healthy who hears about any disease does not want to be around people with a disease. I have another disease and I told 2 people about how I should not eat certain types of foods, and they both looked like they suddenly were deeply depressed. Not planning on telling anyone else, except if they are much older than me. They do not seem to mind.
27m - Dx January 2005: UC/Crohn's
Entocort 9 mg, Asacol 4 x 3, Flagyl 500mg x 3

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 10/13/2009 6:23 PM (GMT -7)   
If I repaint their walls after using their bathroom, it is usually a 50/50 chance I will keep them as friends.
SCD since 01, remission since 01, occasional random junk food breaks :)
No meds ever.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 10/13/2009 7:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I am lucky with friends and Family, I have actually banned everyone from asking how I feel because then I get 20 calls a day and get sick of saying "same as always".
Tina 26yrs old Diagnosed in 2000 with Crohn's surgery for perianal abscess and fistulas
currently on Imuran 125mg Motillium for digestion used in the past Remcide, salofalc, pred.
Worst pain equal to child labor was after eating home made Granola...i can still hear the screams ha ha.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 298
   Posted 10/14/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
it seems as i get older, now in 40's. more people are having bowl problems that are in my circle of friends. every once in a while i get a "oh my gosh i didn't have any idea this is what you were going thru".

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 10/14/2009 4:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess I have been fortunate and really haven't had the problems of losing friends. My friends are all pretty understanding. There are definitely those ones that I can talk to about my issues, and the ones that I don't really mention anything to. My best friend has MS, so we really have a special bond. I don't know what I'd do with out her! I have found that crohn's does make my dating life harder. Since apparently its still taboo for a girl to fart and poop.... men don't seem to like the idea of this disease.
-Heather, 24 yrs. old

- Crohns disease since 1995, officially diagnosed in 2003.

- Bowel resection in Dec. 07, Crohns reoccurred July 08.

- Medications - Entocort 9mg, Humira, Flagyl 250mg, Lexapro 20mg, Wellbutrin SR 150mg

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 10/15/2009 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
I feel like if your friends go away because you have crohns, they were not your friends to begin with. However, I dont beat them to death with the facts. Some peeps just cant take that. When asked how I am doing, I just say Im hanging in there and I have bad and good days. I keep the gory details for this site where people understand...
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 10/15/2009 6:05 AM (GMT -7)   
By the way, my best friend calls me most every morning. His first words are usually, Hows your butt?? then we plan what we are going to do after that.
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 17, 2017 11:04 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,906,469 posts in 318,960 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 158300 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, sarahjaye.
293 Guest(s), 9 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Jaiki, PeteZa, Psilociraptor, LymeSick 🌟, artvark, Progressing, Mergirl, garyi, k07