My heart is going out to you after reading your post, I'm so sorry things are so difficult at the moment - and a doctor who isn't very understanding or sympathetic is just hellish. I'm glad you've found a better doctor to help you, but this has clearly led to another problem because you need to travel into the city. That said, if the doctor does seem like a good one, and could be good for treating your Crohn's, I'd stick with them - a good doctor really makes all the difference.
Is there somewhere local you could go for support for your anxiety and panic attacks? If you could get some help for that (and I'm sure it'll help in dealing with your Crohn's too) it'll mean you don't have to forsake a good doctor. My brother has terrible anxiety, and like you hates going into busy and noisy places or even travelling too far from home. One of the techniques he uses is wearing headphones with some soothing music when he's in busy cities etc. It just helps that little bit with drowning out some of the noise. Another thing he does is relaxation techniques at home but uses a scented oil while he's doing it. His brain begins to make the connection between this smell and a feeling of calm. He says it's very difficult to focus on his relaxation when out and about, so he pops a little of the oil under his nose - and it just gets him quicker and easier into a better head space. Also, something that he says is, journeys and visits to places come a little easier over time. Once he's done it a few times, he finds the general familiarity of it offers some comfort too. But I know it isn't easy it's a real issue, but giving up on a good doctor may be as bad in the longer term.
As for the abscess, now that's something I unfortunately have had too much experience with. I've suffered with perianal crohn's and abscesses continually for 9 years, and if you've not had one before and not sure of the treatment procedures or options - it's extremely daunting. You need a meeting with your doctor to discuss you concerns and questions (prepare a written list and take it with you - and don't be afraid to write what they tell you down). Talk about your worries about it healing, how it's draining etc. and what treatment options are open to you. I can only tell you what I found to be the best for me, but it may help you to form some questions for discussion and what would be good for your situation.
If it's an abscess that has formed with NO fistula (that's no tunnel through into your bowel or rectum), then in my experience an 'incision only' doesn't heal very well, and the skin around where it was ends up hard and sore and intermittently refills and drains agains. My surgeon takes the whole abscess away - I've had holes as large as small grapefruits (and I'm not exaggerating!) but they don't have to be that big so don't panic!. Any bit of the flesh that was affected by the abscess is excised. It then gets packed and covered everyday. It heals from the bottom of the hole upwards - and it's surprising that it doesn't actually leave as big a scar as when they just put a little incision in them and infact, it heals quicker. Admittedly, it is sore for the first week - nothing that can't be handled with painkillers though and not as bad as the original abscess - and then after that it gets a lot more comfortable. When only a slit is put in them, they never heal as well, they're always sorer, the scarring is worse and the problem recurs every so often. A full removal sounds so more drastic I know, but when my Surgeon recommended it, I went with it, and he was so right.
However, if there is a fistula, and the doctor recommends a seton, that sounds like good advice to me. I had two abscesses that fistulated into my rectum and setons were put in. They're a little uncomfortable at first (but again, nowhere near like having an abscess). This means that the fistula can keep on draining, so that the skin wont heal up and an abscess reform. The idea is to keep it open until the medicines can work and get your crohn's under control and start healing the fistula. If that can be healed up, the seton can be removed. It also may enable you to go onto Remicade treatment if appropriate.
Which leads onto the next point, the Remicade. I was to have it a while ago, but because of my abscesses, I couldn't take it. But I'm being effectively treated for them now, I don't want to tempt fate, but the situation seems to getting undercontrol. I've been told that I should be able to go on it soon, and, like you, I've got my concerns and reservations. That said however, I'm willing to give it a try. I've been ill for too long, and for me, this is my last treatment option. Discuss everything with your doctor, it may be that other treatments could be given first before even thinking about Remicade. It really should be one of the latter options, rather that one of the first.
I took Cipro and Augmentin together for 8 months (and yes, Augmentin does make you feel very sick at first, but it does get better). I'm now on Azathioprine immunosuppressants and Clindamycin and Rifampicin antibiotics. My Crohn's is being beaten down with the Aza and the abscesses are clearing with the antibiotics, as soon as I'm clearing up they'll get the Remicade in and, fingers crossed, knock the darn thing down to a liveable level. Everyone is different, it's just trying to find the right line of attack that works for you - and a good doctor will know this and not assume that one treatment approach fits all.
Sorry for waffling on, but I wish you all the very best of luck and hope things work out well for you.
Lots of Love