I finally went and saw a therapist today. It was hard to pour my heart out because I find it so emotionally draining, but I think it may help me in the long run. My husband's illness has certainly taken a toll on me. nawlinscate has some great advice, most of which is what my therapist was giving me today. In addition to what nawlinscate already wrote, one other thing my therapist told me today, was to keep a "gratitude" journal - where you regularly write down things you are happy/grateful for, to reinforce the cup is half full rather than half empty perspective. She said write down 3-5 things every day, and I'm going to start mine today.
Also, she said to wear a rubber band on your wrist, to snap it, when you feel the negative thoughts overwhelm you . . . to use something physical to remind you to change your mode of thinking. Once you've reminded yourself, if you can take a deep breath and think a few positive calming thoughts, and then go back to work or taking care of other business, do so. If that is insufficient, take out a piece of paper and write down some positive thoughts . . . the act of taking out a piece of paper and writing something down in itself calms the mind, and makes it think of something positive . . . and then it maybe easy to carry on with regular activity.
Chronic pain is a problem that absolutely _must_ be addressed. Pain can cause fatigue and depression, and I think you need to find a doc who will help control your pain. I agree with the other posters that you need to get this issue either addressed with your current physician or find another one who will treat you as a whole person, with a life to life, rather than just treating one part of you. And yes, part of that, is checking your vitamin levels, inflammation markers, etc, to dig further into why you're so tired and fatigued.
Hang in there. It does get better . . . we will figure out how to live our lives with this disease together.
Husband with Crohn's
Diagnosed March 2003 Ulcerative Proctitis
Diagnosed March 2008 Crohn's & C-diff, hospitalized 45 days
Canasa, Lialda, Remicade, VSL#3, Florastor
In Remission since June 2008
Stopped vancomycin for c-diff Jan 1 2009
C-diff free, until Sep 2, 2009
Fighting c-diff, I guess for life