i havent written on hear for ages and i hope you are all well. so just to say a little about my background, im 20 and 3 years ago i had major surgery to remove a lot of my small bowel and caecum and have them resected. I was left far to long before suyrgery and my disease had spread rapidly, what was supposed to be a 2 hour op turned into 6 hours and i spent a few months recovering.
But since the operation my quality of life improved 100% i was able to work, go out and enjoy myself and i managed to get myself to university in 2007. Unofrtuantly i wasnt prepared for what university brang, i was doing my nursing studies but my body just couldnt cope with the work load and hospital placements i had to go on for months. i was sick pretty much every month and soon became depressed. ive been on anti depressants for a while and they seem to be doing the job but in may this year i had to drop out of university. i felt like i had failed but my health just couldnt keep up. I have mal absorbtion problems because of the surgery so was used to regular boughts of pain and diahorrea.
But lately the symptoms were getting worse and last wednesday a colonoscopy revealved what i had feared for months, the inflammation was back in my small bowel. i didnt get the chance to speak much to the endoscopist but im seeing my gastro soon so hopefully will find out the extent of it. ive been put back on pentasa 3 times a day, but cant get it out of my head that its back and cant help but worry. i cant really face going through what i did last time when i was 16, i feel like ive already lost 5 years of my life i dont want another 5 years suffering as i did before. i realise i could be over reacting as the tablets might control it better than i expect, but now i no its there i am living in fear of more surgery. doctors have told me more surgery could be life threatening as i probably have lots of adhesions (scare tissue) and it would be risky to go digging about again.
has anyone been through anything similar or any advice on how to stay positive? since my diagnosis i have turned into such a worrier and negative person, the stress makes me ill let alone the crohns. i would be greatfull for any advice or kind words. many thanks