Agent Orange-ishOrA Verse to Xmas with Crohns
His cheeks are red and jolly
Because his *ss it stabs like holly,
His face I’m sure is widely grinning
As in Walmart he’s yet more trews for binning.
The mischief behind him is purely instinct,
The floral spray ensuing is most dis-stinked,
As life unfolds he’s at a loose end,
And so his gutsy humour, tends to distend.
The task he’s taken, is not one for the faint,
He visits houses where CD peels paint,
His whiskers, they have all turned white,
From the fumes that have come, off all that ****e.
His clothes are lurid red but soon turn to camo,
As his sled shrieks past with a nasal whammo,
Since Dasher and Prancer developed Crohnie bellies,
He’s started to tuck his trousers in outside
Burning rubber, or mayhap something worse,
Who would want to be his attendant nurse,
As his sleigh takes off and …rips across the sky,
Farmers warn, “There goes, Crop Sprayer Guy !”
It's not the glee of spreading manure,
Nor flight itself, that's Sniper's lure;
No what he bestows, is a priceless gift,
Accompanied of course, by a noisome rift.
Joy or disaster, visits his dropping off,
It all depends on if he decides to cough,
What comes down your chimney might not delight
But give a Hazmat team a dreadful fright.
A fearsome sight is his hot Drop Zone
The blame is Crohn’s, not his alone,
If on occasion when landing he lets rip
Turning snow to dirt brown skidmark strip.
His aerial presence is usually known,
By all the….air filters
he has blown
The fallout from his delivery, is often not pleasant
It’s the reason for the colour, of a hen pheasant.
Now we know our Sniper is an inveterate giver,
But he needn’t worry if he cannot deliver,
For if he fails to make the grade,
He can handle toxic waste, as another trade.
This rhyme to him as thanks is ode,
Though as he jets his bike off down the road,
Exhausted memories of Christmas past
With nose-clipped fear, leave us…a’ gassed.
He does his best, and helps beat off our worst,
Shows us how, our lives have not been cursed
This poetry stinks like Sniper, and does not scan
Forgive us folks, we do the best we can !
For some reason, I found myself reluctant to write the verse about