Hey My Friend,
I am so sorry that all this is going on and I know the loss of your Mother is weighing heavily on your heart. Please remember grief over a deceased loved one is the most painful of emotions due to it's finality. I am glad you have posted here and also I am glad I found your post. :)
It's okay to need comfort. Accept understanding and support from friends, family and coworkers. That is why you have your wonderful friends here in HealingWell.
I know on top of the grief you are feeling over your Mother you are also extremely hurt and upset with your daughter that has moved to the midwest as that is not how you imagined life would be. <SPAN class=asummary roundtrip="0" lastVisited="0">Parenthood for the most part is one of the most rewarding paths that you can tread, however it can cause stress. Major stress at times but often what our adult children decide to do is beyond our control.............that does not mean you don't hurt watching one of your children make bad choices.
I know you have asked yourself this question, how do you deal with an adult child that is hell bent on destroying their life? I would like you to take care of you right now and let the daughter in the midwest work it out as remember we cannot control others, only our own thoughts and feelings. It is OK to feel sad but do not quit moving forward and making life as good as you can for you.
Now for the middle daughter................ouch, tough situation her grandparents have put her in but do trust that there will be an answer..........just let it be until after Christmas and then support her emotionally as best you can without making yourself ill. If your ill dear Nanners, you cannot help at all.
Remember our children get to the age where they are well beyond the age you can direct their lives. I have learned this from experience and as a Mother I do understand your pain, frustration and the sadness you are feeling right now..........also the anger.
As you know Nanners, I am a great believer in staying in the moment which I learned in therapy.
We spend much time thinking about
what was and what could have been. And we spend much time projecting into the future and wondering about
what may happen.
The key to solving this problem is of course to live as much as you can in the only moment that you ever really live in and control. This moment right now
. The moment that is all there ever was and - probably - will be.
But how can you step away from the thought loops that whirl back and forth through your memories and fantasies, your worries and fears ?
How do you actually return to the present moment?
Focus on what’s right in front of you,
push all other thoughts out of your mind.
Stay in the moment and know that I am here for you and believe.
Your have my support along with this short book I just wrote....
Many loving hugs to you,Kitt