O.T. - Kind of - A Little Gross Humor to Brighten Your Day

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Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 1/9/2010 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   

A fart is a pleasant thing,

It gives the belly ease,

It warms the bed in winter,

And suffocates the fleas.


A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while.
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget
Sweet old farts like you! 
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right? 
Why not send this on to other old farts and bring a
smile...or....tear to them! 


As the stomach said to the burp: "if you


promise to be quiet, I'll let you out the back



Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/9/2010 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   
omg thanks c2 needed that humor today for sure ...love it..huggles..lyn
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 6518
   Posted 1/9/2010 11:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Big smile .....Thanks C2.... Think i'm one of them OLD farts
If we would read the secret history of our enemies,we would find in each mans life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 414
   Posted 1/9/2010 12:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Poisonous cloud.....ha! Luckily mine are usually silent but I remember just before my last flare when I was out I let a silent one go in a bar but the reaction within a 10 metre radius was shocking - everyone was convinced someone had let a stink bomb off (of course I joined in on this theory and tried to look as equally disgusted as everyone else!)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3200
   Posted 1/9/2010 2:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Great stuff :)

Too many years with CD
Two bowel resections, several obstructions.
Fibromyalgia and recently diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and lupus.
B12 Shots bi-weekly

Laughter is the brush that sweeps the cobwebs from our hearts...

ski bum
Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 451
   Posted 1/9/2010 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   
haha - thanks CT. I'm going on a ski trip and sharing a condo with 3 other people, and will be sharing a room with one. I would much rather have my own room, but my friend wanted to share a room - so I sent her this ode to a fart to prepare her!
50 y/o F. CD dx'd Aug 05. Initially on Pentasa, then Imuran 125 mg. Started Humira (very reluctantly) on 10/24/07. Ileocolectomy 4/08. Back on Pentasa as maintenance.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 1671
   Posted 1/9/2010 3:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Whenever I need a good laugh, I remember the time my family was walking around a crate and barrel. Hubby left a little present on the escalator and quickly left the area. We circled around and came back in time to witness this poor woman who found it, and loudly proclaimed, "oh, god!" Where could she go on an escalator to escape?
Dxd CD in 2003. Scope Aug/09 shows UC.
Meds: Colazal, prilosec, darvocet

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 9448
   Posted 1/9/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Yer sadistic, SkiBum!!! yeah nono
Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 947
   Posted 1/10/2010 6:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Great stuff!!!
Diagnosed with Crohns in 2001
First and hopefully last Ileocecectomy 2/18/2009

Medications:Humira,  Asacol, FolicAcid,  Multivitamin, 1000mg Calcium, Vitamin D, Probiotics, Pepcid Complete, Questran,  Monthly B-12 injections.

Living a Great life with my Wife and my two Chocolate Labs
Hunter & Hailey.
I love them dearly.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 1/13/2010 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
turn ROF**** !
idea So you've met my dog Holly, C2....! shocked

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 681
   Posted 1/13/2010 10:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Farts can be okblush and even fun when leaving an empty elevatordevil, or bad in the middle of the night that leads to pj changesshocked or even bedding!shakehead
Male with Crohn's since 15 years old, diagnosed at age 46. Terminal ileum resected 2002. 5 months of remission. Crohn's has now been active since early 2003.Had a gall bladder removed Nov. of 2009. Currently on Remicade every 8 weeks, Nexium, Iron, B-12 injection every 4 weeks, Morphine Sulfate as needed for pain. Cymbalta for long term pain control.5-asa Salofalk, Entecort, Imuran and Prednisone in the past.

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