PLease help....need advise on how to cope.

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/5/2010 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I need some advise on how to cope and deal with depression
Before i was diagnosed i lived the bachelor life; out partying all the time, meeting girls, not caring about anything or who i hurt, no wories, ect ect...i was even pretty good looking
I was originally diagnosed with crohn's a few years ago, at the time i didnt worry about it too much, i just went on living my life as i always had (drinking, partying, having fun ect) and even started a relationship with a woman (we will call her Katie), who i did not have alot of feelings for at first, however she was very supportive and cheered me up whenever i was down, so i stuck with her (it was probably a relationship i shouldnt have been in, given her circumstances). In the past couple years i had calmed down, laying off the booze and taking life more serious and getting more serious with Katie, however thats when things started to go downhill. In the past couple years i have started to have less energy, losing wieght, alot of thoughts and worries, and even concerned about death more and started to develope alot of feelings for Katie (things between her and i where really going good, i started to fall for her and her for me), however instead of things getting better they just got worse.
In the past year, although i have still been laying of the booze and eating healthy, things just kept going downhill, the weight loss continued (i look like a skeleton now), i have tonnes of thoughts and worries, i cant sleep, Katie grew very distant from me and just lately quit seeing or talking to me, i am constantly thinking of Katie (what she is doing, who she is doing it with, ect...i think she may have actually got back with her probably doesnt help that i have a pretty boring job and my imagination runs wild all day) it is driving me crazy i now realize how much i depended on her and how many feelings i actually had for her, i dont know what to do, i feel so depressed.
How do i get back to the guy i was before i was diagnosed? i want to live that bachelor life again.....Please help

Post Edited (tiredguy) : 2/11/2010 3:23:36 PM (GMT-7)

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Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 675
   Posted 2/5/2010 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
well, you didn't mention if you are actually being treated for Crohn's or not. Getting it under control is vital in how you feel about the rest of your life.
I always tell people that there are two kinds of depression. One is due to a real chemical imbalance but the other more common is situational. It sounds to me like you are in a job you don't like and have been in a relationship that has always been in question. If you realize that you feel depressed for a real reason then I think it will help. Next step, work to change the things you don't like. Get a new job (or make your current one more interesting)and a new girlfriend, or work out your current relationship.
The batchelor lifestyle is fun but it's also depressing. Treating your body like that leaves you unhealthy and empty.
Get some exercise. I swear, it's the best thing anyone could ever do for feeling sad.
To sum up: Accept that there is a reason for your depression and that it's very solvable, get crohn's under control, make some life decisions that make you happy, take on a healthy lifestyle. 
Bad fissure Feb 2005. Started Remicade 2006. Fissure #1 healed, now deal with smaller fissure that comes and goes. Clean scope 2009 except for fissure. Also on Pentasa.

artist guy
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Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1373
   Posted 2/5/2010 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   
well said snappy, you sust saved tired guy a shrink visit, my thought as well

artist guy

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Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 405
   Posted 2/5/2010 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Snappy's right about the exercise. It releases endorphins and I think increases seratonin in your system. Can't remember exactly how it works, but it's just good for you.
Maybe you should try to meet up with Katie and get some closure. If she's moved on, you need to move on as well. Stressing/worrying about what she's doing or who she's with will only make you more sick, lose more weight, etc.
Take care of yourself, make sure you're healthy. Once you're in a good spot you can worry about someone else; otherwise, you won't be able to make any relationship functional. You're young and Katie may not be the one for you or you the one for her. It's life. The right person will walk into your life when you least expect it. wink

Post Edited (Toodles) : 2/5/2010 8:50:03 PM (GMT-7)

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